Into the Heart of Congo . . . in a Canoe

WORTH A TRIP: "One thing was sure: Once we began, our only salvation would lie in pushing on, no matter what, to the end." In the August Men's Journal, Jeffrey Tayler defines his goal: to be the first Westerner to canoe down the Ubangi and Congo rivers 530 miles from Impfondo to Brazzaville in the Republic of the Congo. "Hot and murky and swarming with crocodiles, this waterway snakes through some of the steamiest, most impenetrable jungle on earth." Once you start on the trip, you're committed.

As diplomats in Brazzaville and Kinshasa make wagers on their survival, Tayler and his two Congolese guides encounter equatorial weather, tsetse flies, jumpy soldiers and corrupt officials. And boganda (Congolese corn liquor). After 29 days of agonizing paddling, assault by torrential rain and eating things guaranteed to make you sick, Tayler makes it to Brazzaville alive. The Kinshasa diplomats must be disappointed -- they were betting he wouldn't.

WORTH A FLIP: There are so many ways to get sick while traveling, says Ian Frazier in Outside --malaria, SARS, typhoid, good-old gastrointestinal distress. But, then, "even watching the Travel Channel and eating snacks causes arteries to harden and plaque to accumulate in your veins." And sometimes you come home with impressive stories to tell your friends -- such as the time Frazier ended up surrounded by beautiful Russian nurses. "Illness is a passage, and when it happens on a journey," he says philosophically, "it leaves you doubly transformed." Uh huh -- we'll pack the Imodium anyway . . . National Geographic profiles Waldo Wilcox, self-appointed guardian of prehistoric treasures at Range Creek. "I figured them Indians wanted the stuff left there." A thousand or more years ago, a people long vanished left houses, kitchen tools, petroglyphs and skeletons in this remote part of eastern Utah. Wilcox (who recently sold the land) protected them from developers, trespassers and, often, archaeologists. Identifying with the ancient people, he says, "I don't want some hippie digging up my body after I die" . . .

If you stay at Chacabuco, be careful of the "sleeping guards" outside. As Américas explains, that's a euphemism for land mines. Chacabuco was a prison during Chile's Pinochet regime of the early 1970s, and it held up to 3,000 activists, intellectuals and other political prisoners. Now it's a tourist site where guests are locked in at night, lest they sleepwalk over a sleeping guard . . . Kuala Lumpur is a "city still a little dazed by its arrival at the crossroads." Travel + Leisure celebrates the ethnic diversity and economic ascendancy of the Malaysian capital. Not really known as a party town, KL nevertheless has clubs that offer Western-style wickedness. At least until the religious police show up . . .

Finally a magazine with the courage to acknowledge what every kid knows: That for all of its benefits and pleasures, the worst part of cycling is the dogs. Some, explains Bicycling, "think you're just a big ball to chase or a rude invader who needs a verbal spanking." Friendly (if dumb) dogs; dogs that just want to race; "tiny get-in-your-spokes-and-cause-a-horrific-crash dogs" -- maybe the answer is to get your own dog and train it to be a biking buddy.

WORTH A CLIP: If you go to Myanmar, do you have to leave your conscience at home? Not necessarily, says Transitions Abroad, which offers tips on how to see the country formerly known as Burma without enriching the dictatorship that runs it. But it's not easy, as it means avoiding government-sponsored tourism sites (i.e., many of the best ones). But your very being there does keep the "agents of oppression on their best behavior" . . . August's Conde Nast Traveler has a special pullout section on cruising, including how to choose the right ship for your personality. Just match yourself to a celebrity: George Clooney types should try the SeaDream Yacht Club; Kelly Clarksons the Norwegian Cruise Line; Madonnas the Queen Mary 2. As for us, we're booked on the SS Minnow.

WORTH A NOSH: Peru long may have had a culinary inferiority complex, according to Gourmet, but not any more. Chefs in Lima are reveling in their country's "twelve different cultural and regional cuisines" and finding ways to show off its freshwater scallops, tropical fruits from the Amazon and 3,000 varieties of potato. Plus, it's now cool again to eat roast guinea pig . . . France is divided between olive oil France (south) and butter France (north), yet the country's per capita consumption of butter "is higher than that of any other people in the world," boasts France magazine. To best appreciate French butter, place (not spread) a small chunk on a piece of bread and let it melt on the tongue. As with wine, part of the credit goes to terroir: "The soil here is well taken care of and produces feed that makes cows happy."

-- Jerry V. Haines