A Pricey Guide to That Coveted Unnatural Look

But you can't expect to achieve your new beauty merely by smearing expensive goop on your skin. You'll also need some expensive goop injected into your lips, forehead and cheeks.

"I started to notice a faint crevice between my brows even when I wasn't squinting, and I wasn't happy about it!" says Amy, a 36-year-old California veterinarian quoted in NewBeauty.

So now Amy goes to the doctor every five or six months and he shoots her up with six shots of Botox in her forehead, plus five more between her brows and three on each side of her eyes. And she's thrilled!

"I don't even allow the Botox to totally wear off before I make my next appointment," she says. "As soon as I see the faintest furrow, I go back!"

But sometimes turning your face into a pincushion just isn't enough. You need to hire a doctor who can surgically remove your ugly parts. Everybody knows about nose jobs and facelifts, but NewBeauty enlightens us on the more obscure varieties of cosmetic surgery.

Let's say you have fat arms that droop, giving you what NewBeauty calls "the bat-wing-like appearance." You can hide them by wearing long sleeves. Or you can pay $3,000 to $10,000 for armlift surgery that removes the fat and tightens the skin and makes your arms look fabulous, except for the scars that run from your armpits to your elbows. But that's no problem -- you can hide the scars by wearing long sleeves.

NewBeauty is packed with this kind of information. In fact, it's packed so full that sometimes the editors have to squeeze stuff in by printing it in tiny type.

Turn to Page 22, for instance. At the top of the page is the masthead, where NewBeauty lists all the folks who work for the magazine. But way down at the bottom there is a whole bunch of words printed in letters only slightly larger than a paramecium.

Well, of course, I didn't want to miss any of NewBeauty's wisdom, so I got out my magnifying glass and read it. It said this: "The publisher has neither investigated nor endorsed the individual doctors, companies and/or products . . . that advertise within the publication or are mentioned editorially." And this: "It is not possible to ensure that all information provided within this magazine is entirely accurate." And this: "You expressly agree that your use of the information in NewBeauty is at your sole risk." And this: "Photographs of any model in NewBeauty in no way suggest that the subject has undergone any cosmetic enhancement procedure."

Very interesting! I wonder why they printed it in such small type. You don't think they're trying to hide it from the readers, do you?