A Window Home in Wartime

A church that greatly influenced my beliefs and spiritual identity had no baptisms, no marriages and no funerals. There were no stewardship drives, potluck dinners or council meetings; no sounds of children, no parking lot and no flowers on the altar.

What we did have during my deployment at Camp Bondsteel in Kosovo was a church-home away from home.

At Sunday services in Kosovo, I would close my eyes and imagine that I was standing next to my wife, praying and worshipping with her.

My church back home sent me cassette tapes of their services, and the sounds of the pastors would bring me home. Before I left for Kosovo, I usually ignored the restless noises children made during church, but listening to those tapes, their voices caught my attention. The deployment made me treasure the sounds of children during a church service.

The sounds of services in Kosovo that I will never hear at home are M-16s being placed on the floor in the pews. We took our weapons everywhere, including into church. As the deployment progressed, I stopped noticing the noise. Sometimes during services here at home, I hear something drop that reminds of that sound.

One of the social programs of the chaplains was suicide prevention. A deployment often becomes more stressful as it comes to a close. The chaplains taught us about the importance of "battle buddies,"

a person to talk to when you need someone to listen. They helped prepare us for "re-integration" back into our civilian lives. They taught about how we feel a "time warp" when we go home. I'm reminded that we all need "battle buddies" in our lives.

In Kosovo, where day after day felt the same, Sundays were different. Sunday services connected me to my wife and my church back home, and helped me truly appreciate the simple joys of children, potluck dinners and worshipping with family.