By John Maynard
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, August 22, 2006

So you want to break up with your significant other and don't have the heart to do it yourself. Who you gonna call?

Shannen Doherty!

Hers isn't the first name that comes to mind, of course, but the Oxygen network hopes to hit the viewer's irony bone by giving the twice-married "Beverly Hills, 90210" star and '90s tabloid superstar -- not known for her winning interpersonal skills -- a relationship show to call her own.

In "Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty," which debuts tonight, the host does the dumping for those in broken relationships who are too spineless to do the deed.

The potential for laughs is there, considering Doherty's police-blottered past, which includes a former boyfriend seeking a restraining order and her being forced to attend anger management classes.

Regrettably, what we get is a kinder, gentler, Oprahesque Doherty, and what could have been an amusing debacle winds up being an annoying muddle.

Doherty doesn't do much actual breaking up at all. She winds up serving as a facilitator in a hidden-camera show, which sets up situations designed to determine the character of relationships gone bad.

First up is Tamara Henry, a former Miss Arkansas and ex-TV anchor in Fresno, Calif., who wants to break up with Steve, the biggest jerk to appear on a reality show in weeks.

Steve, whom she's been dating for 16 months, says things like, "We got into a huge fight last night but it was your fault, right, honey?" and "Technically, I'm a lesbian." (Get it, because he's a guy who likes girls? And lesbians like girls, too. Hee-hee.)

In a confusing setup that Tamara is in on, she and Steve arrive at a fake restaurant where an actor portraying a "psychic chef" tries to draw out the worst in Steve. It works.

Doherty watches it all from a TV screen just outside the setting, muttering such things as, "I cant wait to dump you," and "Oh, you're a brute."

But all she does is walk into the scene, after Tamara exits briefly, introduce herself and proceed to deliver a videotaped message from Tamara in which the girlfriend says it's over.

There's no heavy lifting required by Doherty. And no fun for the viewer.

The only real laughs come from obnoxious Steve, who recognizes Doherty and immediately begins hitting on her. "You are the last Coca-Cola in the desert to a thirsty man," he says, followed by, "You're a lot hotter in person than you are on TV."

And the kicker: "Are you ovulating?"

At that point, you'd like to see her go all '90s-Doherty on him, but she sits back and takes it good-naturedly.

The second breakup is a bit more complex, but it's still such a no-brainer. The boyfriend, Jeremy, finds Lydia way too controlling and jealous (we learn that she deleted all the female names from his cellphone).

Again, Doherty is there to deliver his breakup message. Again, by video.

And again, this show cries out for the "bad" Shannen, whose erratic antics in her heyday could really break us up.

Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty (30 minutes) debuts tonight at 10 on Oxygen.