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Yes, I am in therapy -- just started. Did I do adversity wrong? Is it too late to correct?


There is no "wrong," you did what you felt you needed to do. Now you're seeing that you needed to do something else, and so you're doing something else. Yay. It may not feel like a rousing success story but you're actually succeeding wildly at something so many people struggle with -- listening to themselves, and taking action. Not as easy as it sounds.

As for the specifics, it's not too late, and dignity points don't mean anything if they're obtained through falsely brave pretenses. You'll rack up genuine dignity points if you choose to confide in one or two of your close friends that you may have overestimated your strength and suddenly find yourself feeling all crumbly and in need of someone to lean on. That takes guts.

Dear Carolyn:

I have a question about manners. I say on the Metro you should give your seat up for the disabled and the elderly. Last time I checked, women choose to have babies, therefore they aren't disabled. My friend says they should be afforded the courtesy. I think I'm already paying for them and their kids (i.e., school costs, time away from work). If you can't stand, don't get pregnant. Who's right?


Try this: Who's kind?

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