More Honorable Mentions

More Honorable Mentions from Week 674 of The Style Invitational, which asked for limericks including a word beginning with ca- :

A callous young doctor named Lou
Said, "There's good news and bad news, it's true.
First, you're terminal, see?
It's a new STD.
But they're naming the thing after you!"

(Chris J. Strolin, Belleville, Ill.)

As the chef in the restaurant knows,
The beluga is old, and it shows.
For a food that's a tempter,
It's caviar emptor:
Beware of those secondhand roes!

(Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

A king was regarded as callous. He
Was known as a man of great malice. He
Claimed that the size
Of his tool won a prize.
But the queen knew that this was a phallusy.

(Richard C. Lewis, Bellingham, Wash.)

Wanton romance made Heloise blotto
For Abelard, inamorato;
Till her uncle's objection
To their ardent affection
Made him Europe's most learned castrato.

(Valerie Matthews, Ashton, Md.)

What may look like a commonplace can
Is a devious marketing plan:
We pay more than we oughter
For sweetened brown water
'Cause it's drunk by some babe with a tan.

(Paul VerNooy, Wilmington, Del.)

To me there is nothing as callous
As a fish that will swim up your phallus.
The candiru can do it,
And surgeons pursue it
With a tool that turns "Al" into "Alice."