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Week 678: Limerick Smackdown!
In the results below and in a special supplement on washingtonpost.com, you will see 45 uncannily clever limericks, drawn from more than 1,000 submitted for Week 674. You will see several by Style Invitational Hall of Famers Chris Doyle and Brendan Beary, winners of our previous two limerick contests and also luminaries on the limerick Web site Oedilf.com. What you won't see are the dozens and dozens of other limericks they sent in -- a total of 43 from Beary and an even 100 from Doyle -- of which almost every one is outstanding.
This week, for the first time, The Style Invitational's name will actually make sense: We have invited Chris and Brendan -- and only Chris and Brendan -- to go head to head in a series of 10 limericks with the restrictions listed below. The Empress will rule on the winner of each round (readers will be invited to vote for their three favorite limericks overall) and the winner of the most rounds will be, whatever, The Big Limerician. These guys certainly don't need any more Inkers. The limericks will be posted Oct. 1.
Their limericks, in turn, must:
1. Concern an obscure mammal.
2. Explain a scientific or philosophical concept.
3. Be a note from George Bush to Condoleezza Rice.
4. Contain the names of five body parts.
5. Have each line begin with a vowel.
6. Consist of directions on doing some task.
7. Include the word "nasopharyngeal."
8. Contain five consecutive words beginning with five consecutive letters of the alphabet.
9. Be about each other.