Week 678: Limerick Smackdown!

10. Be their favorite limerick submitted for the contest below that did not get ink.

All you other Losers out there, you get a week off. So just relax.

Report From Week 674

in which we asked for limericks containing words beginning with ca-, for eventual posting on Oedilf.com, the Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form. As noted above, there were many more worthy limericks than we have room to print here, so we're glad that those hundreds of verses won't be vanishing into the ether.

A rare Blind T-shirt goes to Jeff Brechlin of Eagan, Minn., who sent in a limerick extolling, in the first person, filial necrophilia. We can't print it here, but we will send a framed copy to Mr. Brechlin's mother. We also will garb Jane Auerbach of Los Angeles, who offered one that began: "I'll explain 'camel toe' and be blunt -- "

4 She said, " Call me," but later I wondered:
Could it possibly be that I blundered?
She struck me as shy
And demure -- so then why
Does her phone number start with nine hunderd?"

(Chris J. Strolin, Belleville, Ill.)

3 "An ailurophobe -- ugh," my cats purr.
"Your new girlfriend is worried our fur
Will cause wheezes and hacks
And allergic attacks,
So you shan't cast us Persians on her."

(Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

2 the winner of the hula dancer night light:

In the Alps lived a foundling so sad,
Till one day came a woman, said, "Lad,
Don't you recognize me?
I'm your ma, can't you see?"
"Yodeladyhoo married my dad?"

(Howard Spindel, Portland, Ore.)

And the Winner of the Inker

At Oxford, Bill Clinton dug classes,
The campus, the culture, the lasses.
When he told us a tale
("Ah didn't inhale"),
He was looking through Rhodes-scholared glasses.