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Week 678: Limerick Smackdown!

(Bob Staake for The Washington Post)

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(Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

We Couldn't Be Rude / So We Had to Include ...

Some women are blessed with a sightly
Derriere; some men notice them, rightly.
But when one of them stuns,
You should not yell, "Nice buns!"
"Callipygian!" says it politely.

(David Franks, Wichita)

As Bizet cadged his beer from the barmen,
He groused in a tone less than charmen:
"The singers were flat
And unsexily fat:
It's my fate to be dogged by bad Carmen."

(Howard Spindel)

The scatterbrained fill me with dread
When their actions relate to my head.
A barber who's careless
Might render me hairless;
A doctor might render me dead.

(Tim Alborn, Port Jefferson, N.Y.)

"Très bien, monsieur, boeuf cassoulet;
I shall go tell ze chef, s'il vous plaît."
Off the waiter then sped
To the kitchen and said,
"Yo, Gus! Dogs 'n' beans, right away!"

(Brendan Beary)

Quite a sight the cad uceus makes;
It's the symbol a medico takes:
With the healing he brings
Signified by two wings;
And insurers are shown by two snakes.

(Dan Seidman, Watertown, Mass.)

I'm taking a sweet-loving belle
To a candy boutique I know well.
My hope is my charm'll
Be heightened by caramel
Or, if she prefers, caramel.

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