Week 678: Limerick Smackdown!

(Elwood Fitzner, Valley City, N.D.)

To understand tangents I strived.
Integration I somehow contrived
Just to grasp so I'd pass
That darn calculus class.
Then I knew that at last I derived.

(Katherine Hooper, Jacksonville)

With a camcorder clutched in your hand
(Or affixed to a three-legged stand)
You can document all,
So to better recall
The spontaneous moments you've planned.

(Jonathan Caws-Elwitt, Friendsville, Pa.)

I make cherry preserves, quite a few,
And do a French dance step or two.
I put up my jams,
My skirt and my gams.
I can can and can cancan. Can you?

(Carole Lyons, Arlington)

The flamenco troupe struggled with debt ;
Their star dancer, Inez, was upset.
But a wealthy señor
Paid the debts off and more.
He was caught when Inez castanet.

(Sheila Blume, Sayville, N.Y.)

The calligrapher gained his renown
And he turned his whole trade upside down
With a fancy new script
At which somebody quipped,
"Seems we've got a new serif in town!"

(Brendan Beary)

The cardinal hates spontaneity;
He castigates us for our gaiety:
"The Devil's within
And your laughter's a sin . . . "
That's no way to be treating a laity!

(Chris Doyle)

And Last:

In a limerick contest the spoils
Get bestowed to the one who most toils.
No use working real hard,
I'll just play the ca- card,
And then hope my name's next to Chris Doyle's.

(Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Online Only: Read More Honorable Mentions

Next Week: Cut Us Some Slack, or Losing on a Sunday Afternoon