In Chinese Adoptions, Uncanny Connections

Some people believe that there is an invisible "red thread" that connects orphans in China with the families they are destined to be with.

The Chinese government matches perspective parents to waiting children. It is a laborious, time-consuming, expensive and seemingly arbitrary process. China takes great pride in its ability to create successful unions, and they are quite adept at the practice.

A persistent theme in international Chinese adoptions is that the children are perfectly suited for the family they are matched with. This compatibility extends from physical characteristics to personality traits. When we adopted my daughter from China, we were shocked to find that she looks a lot like my husband. Her personality and innate mannerisms are so similar to mine that at times it is uncanny.

We noticed that the adoptive families we encountered both in China and at home in the U.S. were absolutely suited to be together. The phenomenon transcends logic; it defies reason and statistical data for compatibility scenarios. However different the children were from each other, they we the exact fit for the families they were placed with. The children were as diverse as they are everywhere, but we all wondered at how harmonious the connections were.

I have never been a religious person, but I have always had an innate spirituality. I accept that there are many things in life that are unknown, and I know that I do not have control over so much that happens. When I heard of the red thread that connected families globally, I was an immediate believer.

It is the belief in the unknown, it is a knowledge that fate will unite those who are meant to be together, and it is faith in the thread that binds us to each other. I believe that thread extends from a child in need and winds its way around the world to connect with a family in need of a child. It is an unexplainable force that drives the union and this is my faith.

Before our daughter was even born, we began the paperwork to adopt her. We accepted her as our daughter, both legally and in our hearts before we ever saw her. We had an unfailing faith in our destiny to be parents and a complete trust that our child, whoever she might be, would be the exact match for us.

How can there be so much faith in the unknown? We held our breath and just knew in our hearts that destiny would wind that red thread into a triumphant connection. I believe in this red thread because it connected us to our daughter.