Widow's Pique

"Mr. Secretary" and "Mr. President" respectively. Aren't you proud to live in a country where even the highest officials receive the same courtesy titles as ordinary citizens?

Dear Miss Manners:

I am a 25-year-old in my final year of a bachelor of arts, majoring in film and media studies and anthropology. Having left a corporate career within project management to pursue this line of study, I am often asked either "why?" or of "the practical value" of my courses outside of an academic setting.

Although I always give a sincere response, explaining that documentary filmmaking is what I see as my true calling, the frequently snide and judging manner in which the question is asked (usually by former business associates) often makes me feel disempowered.

As I wouldn't dream of returning such perpetual cruelty by rolling my eyes and walking off, do you have any advice for how to politely respond in such situations?

Miss Manners recommends your breaking into a wide smile, as if the question reminded you of something very pleasant, and saying simply, "We shall see."

This actually means nothing more than that you don't yet know what your education will lead to in the way of a career. But if you say it happily enough, and refuse to elaborate beyond repeating "We shall see," they will be left wondering what is in the works that pleases you so. The brighter ones will come to the uneasy realization that perhaps they should stop sneering now in case they will want to drop your name in the future.

2006Judith Martin