The Slant

New England 19, Buffalo 17

Before the game, Bills Coach Dick Jauron said the great thing about Week 1 is that "Nobody knows what's going to happen." And for a little while he was right, as all of us who begged to differ with Jauron -- Uh, actually, I do know what's going to happen, you're going to lose -- were stunned to see the Bills up 17-7 at the half. But the scales were ultimately tipped by a late safety, which all of us clairvoyants naturally saw coming.

Baltimore 27, Tampa Bay 0

The triumphant reappearance of the Ravens' stifling, turnover-happy defense has to be the second most fulfilling event in recent memory for Ray Lewis. Following, of course, his triumphant, and long-overdue, appearance in an Eastern Motors ad. At least one person, however, won't be happy until Slant fave Kyle "Pro" Boller takes his rightful place under center for Baltimore. Just sayin', is all.

New Orleans 19, Cleveland 14

Saints Nation cheered the successful, if not especially eye-popping, debut of Reggie Bush. Meanwhile, Cleveland countered with uniform tweaks, in the form of gray face masks and black shoes. I guess when your name is the "Browns," introducing colors like gray and black must send a jolt of excitement through the fan base.

Philadelphia 24, Houston 10

Big game for Donte Stallworth, who's hoping to make Eagles fans forget all about a certain T. Owens, esquire. (Yeah, right.) Actually, Stallworth looked more like the anti-T.O., and not just because he wears No. 18 instead of 81: After he scored on a 42-yard pass, Stallworth calmly flipped the ball to a ref, then handed pom-poms to a cheerleader and declared Jeff Garcia to be a "man's man."

Seattle 9, Detroit 6

If I asked you which one of the starting running backs in this game tallied a mere 35 yards rushing with a fumble, you'd probably say the Lions' Kevin Jones. And, well, you'd be correct. But league MVP Shaun Alexander also put up decidedly Jonesian numbers, getting just 51 yards on the ground with his own fumble. Alexander must be saying a lot of things at the same time as other people, because the word "jinx" sure seems to be following him around.

St. Louis 18, Denver 10

Rather a large day for Rams place kicker Jeff Wilkins, who accounted for all his team's points. Gee, we knew when Mike Martz left St. Louis they might not have "The Greatest Show on Turf" anymore, but we weren't necessarily expecting "The Greatest Sights Between the Uprights."

N.Y. Jets 23, Tennessee 16

Usually, when your last name is Nugent, your nickname becomes "The Nuge," as in Ted Nugent and, um, countless others. The Jets place kicker, however, has come up with a delightful variation on that cliche, pushing just enough kicks wide to earn the moniker Mike "The Nudge" Nugent. All hail The Nudge!

Atlanta 20, Carolina 6

Some dictionary I found online defines "roughshod" as "having horseshoes with projecting nails." Hey, talons are sorta like projecting nails, and Falcons have those, and these Falcons rode roughshod over the Panthers. It all ties together so neatly. Seriously, it does. Don't question it.

Chicago 26, Green Bay 0

The top-pick-in-'07-bound Packers kicked off their season nicely, putting up nary a fight at home against the hated Bears. Brett Favre is already asking if he can telecommute.

Jacksonville 24, Dallas 17

T.O. has rated a prior mention in this column, so let's move past his outing and talk about Drew Bledsoe's. Pee-yew! That certainly won't quiet all the Tony Romo talk. Heck, it won't even quiet the Gary Hogeboom and Steve Pelluer talk.

Cincinnati 23, Kansas City 10

Again, Carson Palmer looked perfectly healthy, which is more than can be said for Trent Green, who got pummeled while attempting to safely end a scramble. There was no flag on Cincinnati's Robert Geathers for the hit, but there's a good chance the league's front office will adopt Geathers's attitude toward letting people slide.

Arizona 34, San Francisco 27

A lot of things about this game were predictable: Kurt Warner putting up big numbers, Kurt Warner costing his team points by fumbling deep in his own end, Kurt Warner thanking Jesus for the win . . . all right, I just assumed that last one happened. What wasn't so predictable was the Niners' Alex Smith looking good at QB. Then again, given how predictably porous the Cardinals' defense was, I suppose that was predictable, too.

Indy 26, N.Y. Giants 21

This contest featured teams with legitimate Super Bowl aspirations, but, of course, the Manning-vs.-Manning duel ensured it would receive an extra helping of hype. However, not everyone was excited about that matchup -- Rush Limbaugh, for one, proclaimed that brothers who play quarterback are always overrated.