ASK AMY

Dear Amy:

I am wondering how to handle an uncomfortable situation.

I live in a smaller town, where most people are aware of an affair that took place over the summer. The families involved were all good friends before this happened.

The wife of the man who had the affair sent an e-mail to her friends when she found out, and word spread like wildfire.

The woman who had the affair is my child's classmate's mother, and we will see each other at the many school events.

This was a hot topic this summer, and all involved are aware that most people in town know the story and the sordid details.

Do we play dumb, ask how their summer was and make small talk like nothing has happened?

Schooled in Scandal

From the mail I receive about the goings-on in some communities, I'm starting to think that "Desperate Housewives" is a documentary.

I vote for playing dumb. However, I think of it more as being polite and discreet than "playing dumb." Perhaps you could be the first person in your community to choose not to trade in this sordid tale.

It's not so hard to be discreet. You start by saying, "I can't believe how tall Amanda is getting!" -- and you take it from there. Topics include your children's teachers, their sports schedules, who should bring the brownies to the next soccer game, world events and that old standby -- what a lovely autumn we're having.