Check, Please

Disastrous Dates
(Craig White for The Washington Post)
Sunday, September 17, 2006

Perhaps the only saving grace of a truly bad date is how entertaining, amusing and yes, cringe-inducing it is to tell people about it later. A few weeks ago, we asked readers to submit their worst date experiences and we were not disappointed with the responses we received detailing awful -- and awfully funny -- nights out. We were a bit surprised, though, that we heard almost exclusively from women. (Either guys don't remember their bad dates, or they don't want to tell anyone about them.) In any event, the following experiences just may serve to remind you that, hey, maybe your last bad date wasn't really so bad after all.


When we spoke on the phone we had many things in common and had great phone chemistry. We made plans to meet at an auction on a Saturday afternoon.

When I arrived, he met me at the registration table where we exchanged awkward hellos. He seemed very nice. Once I was through the registration line, he put his arm around my shoulder guiding me and said, "We're sitting over here." He then casually added, "My mother is looking forward to meeting you, so you two should sit next to one another." What?!

There was no mention of his mother attending the auction. In fact, mothers never even entered our one phone conversation. I have nothing against mothers (my mother happens to be my best friend) but they don't belong on a blind/first date.

There I sat in between the both of them, fielding their questions from my right and from my left. Trapped! As the auction came to a close, he turned to his mother and me and said, "Why don't I take my two favorite girls out for a bite?" What?! I made a very bad excuse about having a sick dog at home and didn't look back as I ran for my car. -- Jill Roering, Rockville


He will forever be known as "The Slumper" to me. He responded to my online profile and we met for coffee. He was already slumped low in his chair when I arrived. I feared he might fall out of it. He made no effort at conversation. I asked him questions so we weren't just staring at one another. Finally, I asked as pleasantly as possible, 'Do you want to know anything about me?"

"Well, I know where you work," he said. No, he didn't.

Then he said, "Well, I know where you live." No, he didn't and never would.

And then just as he was about to say something else, a jazz band starting playing and he said, "You know what, I really hate jazz." I took that to mean he didn't want to know anything about me. It seemed like the date was four hours when, in fact, it was about 40 minutes, and still 39 minutes too long. He was so rude that he ranks worse than the date who showed up 30 minutes late and stiffed me with the bill or the 10-minute date with the crazy guy who said he impersonates Congressmen to get respect.

-- Kris Maccubbin, Silver Spring

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