ASK AMY

Friday, September 15, 2006

Dear Amy:

I have a cousin who is a mechanic. He is superb with cars. He works at an auto repair shop and is always busy.

In the beginning of last month, he started working on my dad's car. His car is still not running because my cousin has not finished the work.

My cousin keeps saying, "I'll finish over the weekend." The whole month has gone by, and my dad is getting impatient.

Now my car is also not running well. I do not want to ask my cousin for help, even if we live together under one roof.

I don't understand what his problem is. Maybe it's because in the past our family has not paid him for working on our cars. He fixes other people's cars in no time.

The price for the job I want done is $180, which is much cheaper than any other shop, but I don't want to ask him to do the job because he doesn't keep his promises.

What should I do?

Auto-motive

You know the old saying, "You get what you pay for"?

Well, my friend, that also means that you don't get what you don't pay for.

Your cousin sounds like a gifted mechanic. But unless he has an arrangement with your family to exchange mechanical work for food and rent, any attention he pays to your cars is purely out of the goodness of his heart.

You should definitely send your car to the garage where your cousin works, especially if the price is right. You'll have to be like every other valued customer, however. Don't expect him to fix your car on his own time.

Oh, and you'll have to pay your bill.

Dear Amy:

Regarding a recent letter from "Anonymous," I too wanted to ask out my child's pediatrician.

One day during a checkup, I simply handed him my business card and told him if he ever wanted to get together, after work for coffee or a drink, to call me.

He said, simply, "Thank you, I am flattered."

I never heard from him -- he wasn't interested. But he is still a great doctor, and he is still my children's doctor.

Nothing has changed, and we have never brought up the issue of getting together again.

I say, don't miss out on something that could be great. The doctor is not allowed to ask a patient out, or even his patient's mom. She should make the first step.

Not Afraid to Ask

Judging from the contents of my in-box, pediatricians are much sought after. And while I love the idea of "going for it," patients (and parents) should be aware that when they ask out their doctor, they place this person in a tough spot.

Dear Amy:

I saw something of myself in the letter from "Angela" -- the young grandmother who was embarrassed.

I was 42 when I became "Grama." At first I didn't want anyone to know I was a grandmother -- like her, I thought I was too young and people would think differently about me.

But I love my grandkids, and they bring such joy to my life that I am now proud to tell everyone about them.

The comment I get most often is, "You look so young to be a grandmother!"

My favorite response is that I am too young to be a grandmother but I'm enjoying every minute of it!

Proud Grama Michele

Many young grandparents have written in to urge "Angela" to enjoy her youth -- and her grandkids.

Write to Amy Dickinson ataskamy@tribune.comor Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.

2006by the Chicago Tribune Distributed by Tribune Media Services Inc.