Mom vs. the Machines

For the parents trying to keep up, there's little chance that these little ones won't come into contact with technology -- already my toddler son gravitates toward the swipe-your-card, get-your-tickets machine at the movie theater near our home in Silver Spring instead of the person-behind-the-window line where I wait.

But the truth is that technology is here and parents can neither turn a blind eye nor allow it to wash over them and their children, said Michael Rich, director of the three-year-old Center on Media and Child Health at Harvard Medical School.

"This is the huge dilemma we've carved out for ourselves. We need to be able to use this technology thoughtfully, rather than just using it because it's there," Rich said. "Use it actively, get out of it what is most useful to us, then turn them off."

Lenhart said it is tricky but not impossible for parents to strike a balance between their own anxieties and lack of tech-savvy, and their children's fast-growing tech-facility.

Parents need make an effort at learning about new gadgets, hot new Web sites and the even the jargon that their kids are speaking -- or rather texting and instant-messaging.

Filtering and monitoring software is available to limit kids' exposure to bad people and things on the Web. A Pew study found that 54 percent of parents use some form of filtering software on the computers used by their children. But Lenhart warns that it's not enough.

"Avoid getting into a game of one-upmanship," Lenhart said. Otherwise, the inevitable result is that your little techie will just figure out how to circumvent the filtering device and miss altogether the lesson you were really trying to impart -- how to exercise good judgment.

"The same rules that have always applied should continue to," Lenhart said, noting that warnings such as "Don't talk to strangers" should be applied for both real-life and online interactions. "The trick in terms of how fast the technology is changing is in parents' ability to change the rules along with the technology" while still holding onto their core values.

Rich said he is all too aware that a growing number of parents feel overwhelmed by so much new technology coming at them and by their children's casual attitude toward it. But parents shouldn't feel helpless, he said.

"If we use this technology to educate our kids, make them stronger and more socially responsible, then that is the kind of technology that will get made," Rich said. "But if we continue to only use it to buy more Grand Theft Auto video games, or to visit hate sites, or buy tickets to see movies like 'Bride of Chucky,' then that's what we'll become."