Converts to Judaism Ponder Rebirth During High Holidays

When the sun goes down today, Jim Nicotera will file into synagogue like any other Jew, take his seat and begin the intense reflection that marks the annual, 10-day High Holidays period for Jews.

Having grown up Catholic -- even serving as an altar boy -- and having converted to Judaism last year, Nicotera has an intimate relationship with the holidays' fundamental goal: self-change. For him, the key Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur prayers of repentance, sin and death were not simply passed down through the generations and repeated out of tradition; they took sorting out -- and still do.

Jewish converts have received new attention in the past year, as U.S. officials from the major Jewish denominations have made unprecedented appeals, emphasizing the importance of conversion -- particularly among non-Jews married to Jews as a way to keep the minority faith alive.

In the Jewish calendar, the most sacred of holidays is the period between Rosh Hashanah, which begins tonight, and Yom Kippur, which begins the night of Oct. 1. Called "the days of awe," the holidays are a period during which Jews ask for forgiveness for their sins and the sins of their community, from one another and from God.

"We are supposed to get into spiritual readiness for this awesome period of changing ourselves," said Sybil Wolin, who teaches a course through the Jewish Study Center in the holidays' basics to people considering conversion, among others.

Rosh Hashanah, which rings in a new year in the Jewish calendar, is translated from Hebrew as "head of the year." The year that begins tonight is 5767.

Converts to Judaism share a key theme with the holidays: rebirth. Jewish scripture describes Jews as "reborn" after Yom Kippur, or "Day of Atonement," during which Jews fast and are cleansed. Rabbi Aaron Panken, dean of Hebrew Union College in New York City, said the Talmud, a collection of Jewish oral law and teachings, talks about converts in a similar way. The Talmud says "that they are a newborn person, that there is a sense of rebirth in the conversion process," he said. As part of the conversion process, some Jews are immersed in a ritual bath called a mikvah, a Hebrew word that shares a root with "hope."

But the conversion process isn't always easy.

Nicotera, a 55-year-old finance director from Fairfax, "never felt quite comfortable" with converting, even two decades after marrying a Conservative Jew and raising two Jewishly observant sons.

"After being raised Catholic, it's hard to say, 'You know, I don't believe some of that stuff.' I felt I'd be a hypocrite if I tried to convert," he said.

He admired the "pragmatic" approach to God he heard about in services, but he felt an absence of spiritual things that he associated with Catholicism, such as "a sense of miracles and wonder, an afterlife, a messiah. I felt I needed something more spiritual to balance out the pragmatism."

During the High Holidays, Nicotera would often meet his wife and sons after synagogue to have a dinner with a group from the synagogue, including several interfaith couples. He went to services occasionally, but as a non-Jew was not allowed to participate fully.