The TV Grid and Other Gripes

A reader of Indian heritage wrote: "I was stunned to see the comments printed in the 'Date Lab' feature on Page 8 of [the Sept. 17] Post Magazine. The man, who was set up on a date with an Indian woman, is quoted as saying, 'I have Indian girls as friends, and most of them are a little snobby, maybe a little cocky, so it crossed my mind that she could be that way.' I can't believe a comment like that, which criticizes an ethnic group based on unfair stereotypes, would be allowed in the newspaper, even if this feature is meant to be quirky and off the cuff. Imagine if he said that comment about Jews or blacks. It should have been edited out."

Date Lab started in June and is a departure for the normally more staid Post. The idea came about as a way to attract more young readers to the paper, Magazine Editor Tom Shroder said. "We felt that one important thing that The Post under-covers is something that most people think a lot about -- dating and romance."

Magazine editors set up two singles on a blind date, give them disposable cameras, then interview them the day after for a "he said, she said" review of the date. The feature has been popular, and about 100 people a week join a database of would-be participants that now numbers about 1,000.

So why let the guy insult women of his own ethnicity? Shroder said, "What makes Date Lab work so well is that it becomes clear that our daters are being honest about how they think on a date, what moves them one way or another. We don't want to blunt that. But every time something like that happens, we scrutinize it very carefully. In the case mentioned, we considered that the speaker was an Indian man commenting on his own ethnic group. Secondly, the negative trait -- snobbery -- was not an extreme. Another factor: He was saying 'most Indian girls I know' had that trait, and that he wondered if this girl 'might' have it also -- both softening factors."

Date Lab is edgy. This couple admitted to drinking a lot; the man on the date said, "We were starting to slur some words there for a while." And his idea of a top-ranked date? "I give 5's to the dates where you wake up in the morning and say, 'You want breakfast in bed?' "

The quip about Indian women struck me as superfluous, but this column is obviously not for my advanced age group.

Deborah Howell can be reached at 202-334-7582 or atombudsman@washpost.com.