By Al Kamen
Monday, September 25, 2006

Back in July, after a Department of Veterans Affairs laptop loaded with personal information on millions of vets and active-duty military personnel was stolen, other agencies revealed security breaches.

So House Government Reform Committee Chairman Thomas M. Davis III (R-Va.) and ranking Democrat Henry A. Waxman (D-Calif.) wrote 17 Cabinet-level departments and agencies to ask whether they had experienced any similar incidents.

Of the 14 that have responded so far, either in whole or in part, the Commerce Department looks far and away the worst, owning up to the loss of more than 1,000 agency computers.

But what about the three departments that have not responded? Do they have bigger problems? And these three would be . . .? Treasury, Defense, and Health and Human Services. Oh, well -- none of them has sensitive information about Americans.

Lots of chuckles on the Hill and at regulatory agencies over a Sept. 19 letter from Hewlett-Packard Vice President Gary Fazzino to Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.). The letter urges Frist to push passage of the Telephone Records and Privacy Protection Act of 2006, which is intended to protect the personal information of consumers and employees.

"HP has long been an industry leader on privacy," Fazzino wrote, and the company "believes responsible companies have an obligation to advance consumer and employee rights to have personal information safeguarded."

Meanwhile, a House committee is investigating HP for authorizing an extensive spying operation on people inside and outside the company, looking for leakers. The company is alleged to have planted false documents, followed its board members and reporters, watched their homes and obtained phone records of directors, reporters and spouses.

Keep that up and it won't be "an industry leader on privacy" much longer.

And now, a sure-fire way to test airport screeners.

Yes, it's the "Hizbullah Messenger Bag," a snappy-looking shoulder bag advertised by a group called the Revolution Junkies on e-commerce Web site CafePress.com. (The site's standard disclaimer says its merchandise "does not necessarily reflect the opinions and views of CafePress.com.")

"Resist Israeli tyranny!" the product's ad says. "Show your support of the resistance with this versatile and durable messenger bag!"

The polyester bag comes in yellow (Hezbollah's color) and features what looks like the group's logo in the center -- Hezbollah in Arabic with an AK-47 in a raised-high fist.

"From school, to carrying your laptop, to a hip alternative diaper bag, our versatile, spacious messenger bag is practically all you need to get you through every stage of your life," the ad says, "and look hip doing it."

Just putting the fun back in fundamentalism. Yours for only $27.99. Comes with adjustable two-inch strap.

The Food and Drug Administration, burdened by budget and staff cutbacks at its food safety office, is scrambling to find the source of the E. coli-contaminated spinach.

But a consumer group finds that the FDA has still been able to spend taxpayer dollars to celebrate its 100th anniversary. According to budget documents, it has spent: $6,800 on tablecloths; $18,000 for 45 flags for flag-raising ceremonies here and at field offices; $30,306 for "banners for airports and backdrops for media interviews"; $2,240 for miniature sewing kits; $7,750 for focus-group testing of the centennial poster; and $8,500 for "replicas of FDA Inspector Badges."

Maybe they should be spending more on real inspectors and less on fake badges.