What Makes Andy Dick Tick?

Dick reads: "You printed all that crap about me when I asked you nicely to be on my side please and print something good. You came into my dressing room uninvited and we were all having a good time. You included. You know when something is printed in black and white it reads differently. You slanted everything. Why would you take advantage of me? Why would you kick a man when he's down? I guess you don't believe in God or karma or anything beside making a quick buck or promoting your lame comedy. Please, don't use me as your fodder. I think you are more of a monster every day than I am when I'm drinking. I certainly do hope I run into your sorry pathetic . . . " Etc.

Dick, once called "the most talented, gutsy and truly strange comic of his generation" by Time magazine, has produced an uneven body of work.

He was a standout on the "The Ben Stiller Show" and had a good run on the NBC sitcom "NewsRadio" with Phil Hartman. On MTV, Dick had a cult hit with "The Andy Dick Show" and had a modest success in the Donald Trump reality parody "The Assistant."

In recent years, he is best known for his cameos -- in "Old School" and "Zoolander." His own movie, which he wrote and directed, called "Danny Roane: First Time Director," was recently bought by distributor Lionsgate but most likely will go straight to video.

Dick pulls the cat onto his chest and strokes it. "Look at my cat, so sweet," he says. "If I was a real monster, this cat would be running away."

After a few moments, the cat does run away, which cracks Dick up.

"It all boils down to jealousy," he says. "People are upset that they can't do what I do. They hold back. They see me not holding back."

He amends: "But there are times when I don't hold back -- to an extreme level -- and I probably should and people get mad at me. We live in a really uptight country. Yes, I wish over the years I had kept my private life private and my professional life a little more professional." Re: the felony coke possession and the running into the telephone pole. "But you can't look back."

Is he haunted by the curse of being called comedy's Angel of Death?

Apparently not now. "That was a long time ago," he says. "Nobody has died around me in years. I wrote a song about it. I have an album coming out. A live album of what some people would call stand-up." He begins to sing:

"Hang out with me / Some people say / You might end up dead / Or worse, gay.

"But I pushed semihard / To get you to like me / Now I'm in your bedroom / On your TV."

The lyrics move in a narrative crescendo, ending with Dick in a public restroom with a metaphorical public.

Dick says he is now back on track. His kitchen is filled with healthy fruits. There is a pile of avocados and ginger. The fridge is stocked with Himalayan Goji Juice. He takes a lot of immune system-boosting supplements. "I'm not drinking. I'm not doing drugs. I have that new movie, which is incredible, and I'm so proud of it. I'm finally in a real movie. I haven't had a big movie in 15 years. Oh, I've had lots of and lots of movies, I've even been leads, but went straight to video or weren't that good. I've had tons of those cute little cameos. Like," and here he imitates a fan, "I love you in 'Old School.'" Followed by an ugly name. "Fans can be like that."

What does he mean?

"One time I was walking down the street in New York City and there was this carload of teenagers. Bumper-to-bumper traffic. They were just packed in there like a circus act. They saw me and started screaming, 'We love you, Andy Dick. We're your number one fans!' And I'm like, I love you, too. Rock on. I kept walking. They caught up. Then it was, 'Andy Dick, we hate you!' They had talked in the car and decided they weren't my number one fans. It was horrible."

He thinks about that for a minute and then says, "I'm surprised that carload of kids didn't try to set me on fire."