Don't Miss the Boat

Booking at the last minute means you can cruise without paying top dollar. As for having a good time . . . well, you're on your own.

Early September and a cold rain is pelting the dying petunias in the yard; water is backing up on the brick patio I used maybe twice this whole year. Soon I'll be ankle-deep in dead leaves and still up to my neck in deadlines. Where did the summer go?

South, I realize. It's simply gone south, and I can go there, too. I close my e-mail message screen and start pulling up online travel sites.

Ten days later, I'm squinting in the brilliant sunshine of Miami, a sea breeze rustling my hair as I prepare to board a four-night cruise on Carnival's Imagination, an 855-foot-long ship that holds 2,052 passengers and more than 900 staff. Every Carnival ship is said to be a "fun ship," which signals a certain party atmosphere.

I haven't done as travel agents recommend -- talk to them and match my personality with that of the ship so that I will "have a great experience, rather than just a trip on a ship," as agent Heather Dolan of Democracy Travel in the District puts it. (Used to be you'd pick a particular cruise line to get a certain experience, and while that still holds to some degree, the differences among ships within a line can be greater than differences among lines, the experts say.)

But I'm not feeling particular; I simply want to get away. I have three criteria: sunny, cheap and soon.

As to the cheap part, I'm in luck on two related fronts: It's not peak season, and cruise lines are going to be eager enough about filling empty cabins to slash prices even further. In fact, at every Web site where I ask for a four- or five-night Caribbean cruise in what remains of September, I come up with at least a dozen bargains. I like the ports of call -- Key West and Mexico's Riviera Maya -- offered on the Imagination. And I like the advertised price: $179 per person double for a four-night cruise. The lowest per-person price for this same trip over Christmas: $739. September 2007: $399.

All cruise prices are based on double occupancy, and I call an agent at Cruise.com, expecting the price for my solitary self to nearly double. Not so for last-minute cruising. Total price: $262. (Over Christmas week, the same solo cruise and cabin type would cost $1,359. September 2007: $679.)

The port fees and taxes included in my total are more than the cruise itself. Carnival is getting a mere $30 a day from the deal -- about the price I pay to go to work, what with parking fees and lunch.

The term "last-minute," by the way, applies to bookings of 59 days or less in cruise parlance. Why 59 days at the outside? Because cruisers who book in advance must make final payment 60 days in advance. The day after that, the cruise line knows exactly how many cabins it must unload and starts discounting.

They're never going to give a berth away, but they'll slash their rates on whatever cabins they have left, hoping you'll spend some serious money after getting on board. Carolyn Spencer Brown, editor of Cruisecritic.com, an interactive online cruise advice site, explains it succinctly: "An empty cabin doesn't buy a spa treatment, or go on an excursion, or gamble, drink or covet jewelry."

Actually, that description of an empty cabin sounds a lot like me. I'm dreaming of the kind of relaxation that involves late mornings in bed, with no dog to walk and no child to get to school, afternoons with a book and water views, and evenings that involve nothing more than not making dinner or arguing about the cleanup. Good luck to anyone hoping to make extra money on that.

Don't I Look Like I'm Fun?

That first night finds me in the casino playing the quarter slots. I know, I'm not a gambler. But neither am I a Vegas-type show person, and that's tonight's entertainment. It takes me more than an hour to lose $10, and by then I've lost interest in even trying to lose my other roll of quarters.