Singled Out

And there are her platonic single friends, and the men she has dated and those she has loved. She has learned from them all, and even when the lessons have been hurtful, or enraging, she has still landed on the upside of love and marriage with a black man. So part of her strategy has been to remember that each handshake with a "brother," each returned smile or held glance, could be the curtain rising on the rest of her life. Like the night she met Mr. Red Tie.

* * *

'What Are You Looking For?'

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She was at Ozio, sipping a $4 cranberry juice, thinking that the mixer of young black professionals, hosted by an association of black female lawyers that Robyn belongs to, might be another bust. So Robyn was thrilled when she looked into the mirror behind the bar and saw a guy with a short afro smiling at her and mouthing something she couldn't understand. She curled her index finger and gave him that classic come-hither sign. In seconds, he was at her side.

"Robyn Thorpe," she said, as she shook his hand. "I couldn't make out what you were saying at the other end of the bar. What's your name?"

Robert Caldwell. He is a recent transplant from Cincinnati and works for a federal agency, reviewing contracts. They have each learned to download the vitals quickly: like her, he has never been married and has no children.

They smiled at each other. Something was clicking, and Robyn felt free to discuss compatibility the old-school way. She is 5 feet 2 inches tall, a Gemini and every bit the talkative, intellectually engaging extrovert that the stars suggest. He is a foot taller, two years older and a Virgo who puts no stock in astrology.

He does believe in education, though, and has three degrees -- political science as an undergrad, history in grad school and the third in law. He wrote a thesis on black empowerment, studying leaders such as Marcus Garvey, Booker T. Washington and W.E.B. DuBois. He is talkative and playful, flexing his muscles to show off the stocky build that made him a good football player at Virginia State University.

He was definitely a prospect, Robyn thought, and a man who knew how to get to the point. He was direct when he stopped her on the stairs.

"Are you in a relationship?"

In reply, she held up her ringless left hand and flashed a need-I-say-more look.

"So what are you looking for? A man who can quote Nietzsche? Garvey? What?" Robert asked.

"That would be nice," Robyn said, trying hard to sustain her eager-but-not-too-eager posture. But there was no denying that she was impressed. She couldn't get her last boyfriend to read a book. Now before her was a man asking her out, just like that, and tapping her phone number into his cellphone. On the dating scene, that signaled some serious intent.