Interactions

Of Dad and Dying

Thank you for your marvelous story on preparing for a parent's death ["The Conversation," Oct. 10].

My mother raised me and my two brothers after my father's death from leukemia in 1963. He was 46. She died of breast (and probably ovarian) cancer 16 years later.

I remember so clearly being paralyzed about talking to her about her dying. We never did, really. She didn't even want the word "cancer" used around her. It was the elephant in the living room, of course.

Her husband survived her, and he is now 96. I saw him two months ago, and we watched football together. You're right that the "hanging out" part of the journey is so very important.

You also performed a great service in explaining "pre-terminal rage," something I think is so bewildering for families.

Sheila Gibbons

Coltons Point

Sometimes a Cleaning Is Just a Cleaning

I found the findings in the article "Practicing Moral Hygiene" [Oct. 10] interesting, but I'm not certain I agree with the conclusions.

I'm a frequent hand washer and self-proclaimed germophobe, and I don't believe guilt is the motivating factor for my habit. I have a mostly rational fear of germs, and this is the reason why I like to wash my hands often. Germ theory supports frequent hand washing as an effective method for helping to prevent illness.