Interactions

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Of Dad and Dying

Thank you for your marvelous story on preparing for a parent's death ["The Conversation," Oct. 10].

My mother raised me and my two brothers after my father's death from leukemia in 1963. He was 46. She died of breast (and probably ovarian) cancer 16 years later.

I remember so clearly being paralyzed about talking to her about her dying. We never did, really. She didn't even want the word "cancer" used around her. It was the elephant in the living room, of course.

Her husband survived her, and he is now 96. I saw him two months ago, and we watched football together. You're right that the "hanging out" part of the journey is so very important.

You also performed a great service in explaining "pre-terminal rage," something I think is so bewildering for families.

Sheila Gibbons

Coltons Point

Sometimes a Cleaning Is Just a Cleaning

I found the findings in the article "Practicing Moral Hygiene" [Oct. 10] interesting, but I'm not certain I agree with the conclusions.

I'm a frequent hand washer and self-proclaimed germophobe, and I don't believe guilt is the motivating factor for my habit. I have a mostly rational fear of germs, and this is the reason why I like to wash my hands often. Germ theory supports frequent hand washing as an effective method for helping to prevent illness.

I like to do all I can to stay healthy, which includes exercise, good nutrition and cleanliness of body and environment. I think there are many reasons one might choose to wash often, including obsessive-compulsive disorders or just plain old good hygiene.

Amy Morgenthal

Ashburn

Digital Info Doesn't Add Up to Much

As a 50-something woman whose right index finger is easily one nail-length shorter than her right ring finger, I finally have an answer ["Finger Forecasts," Oct. 17] to weight issues, severe hot flashes, rosacea, cataracts and a host of other physical issues!

Seriously, it's fascinating stuff, but does this research really tell us anything that we can apply to our day-to-day lives?

Jillian Gibson

Alexandria

Labor Drugs Worked -- and Then Some

I was fascinated to read your article about mag sulfate ["Labor Drug Assailed," Oct. 10]. I had premature contractions with both of my pregnancies.

During the first pregnancy (1987), when contractions started at 34 weeks, my doctor put me on bed rest and occasionally "prescribed" orange juice and vodka when the contractions recurred. I delivered about a week past my due date.

During my second pregnancy (1991), contractions started at about 29 weeks, so I got mag sulfate for 48 hours. It was the worst I have ever felt. They were monitoring my blood pressure so that I wouldn't die. The day they stopped it, a fairly insensitive young resident took a phone call in my room where he told the caller that he had had to "mag" a woman the night before. It sounded like the report of a "mugging" to me.

Anyway, I was referred to a high-risk OB, who put me on the drug terbutaline with a monitor. I spent several nights in the hospital, always under threat of being placed in the Trendelenburg (head down) position if things got out of hand. After 11 weeks of bed rest, I delivered my son fairly near his due date.

I don't know what would have happened without the mag sulfate, but I suspect that in my case, I would have done fine with just the terbutaline. I hope that the new findings will spare more women from the effects of mag sulfate.

Marie K. McElderry

Arlington

I read the article with more than passing interest.

Almost 13 years ago I went into labor at 24 weeks gestation and was given terbutaline to try to stop the contractions. It did not work, and I was put on mag sulfate.

Hours after the mag was started, alone in my hospital room in the middle of the night, I suddenly felt as if I were drowning. I was drowning, from inside, as I had developed pulmonary edema and respiratory distress syndrome.

Oxygen and diuretics did not work; by morning I was on a ventilator in intensive care, where I remained for three days as my lungs dried out enough for me to breathe on my own.

And my baby? The mag sulfate did stop my contractions, and my daughter was born 10 days later at 26 weeks gestation. She is now almost 13, plays on a soccer team and Irish step dances, and is in honors classes in middle school.

Leslie Stout-Tabackman

McLean