Join The Crowd

By Art Buchwald
Thursday, October 26, 2006

You want another thing to worry about?

The U.S. population hit 300 million last week. What it means to you is that even if the United States builds a fence to keep out illegal immigrants, it still will use the most oil, dump the most trash and be the nation most responsible for global warming.

If Americans keep doing what they are doing now, they will drink up the water in every office cooler, and every well in the country could go dry.

Another figure I read said the average American throws away five pounds of waste every day.

But the thing I am the most nervous about is that by 2050, the country will have 400 million people.

This means every single soul will have 25 percent less land to stand on that he can call his own.

This is how America will look in 2050:

All the parking places will be filled day and night. Every road and highway will have gridlock.

Gas stations will run out of gas, and lines for fuel will stretch for 10 miles.

I don't think electric cars and hybrids will save the day. This is because when we hit 400 million, everyone will drive SUVs to fit in their family members.

With the extra millions of people, Chinese takeout restaurants will triple. (We have to assume every Chinese immigrant who is not a nuclear scientist will open a restaurant and kill every duck in America.)

How will we be able to feed our people?

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