In Anaheim, Invasion Of the New Agers

ANAHEIM, Calif. -- There comes a time in many an American's life when in the mailbox there appears, at the strike of 50 years, a membership solicitation from AARP. For many, it is a cause of celebration, a dignified milestone, a half-century -- good for you! For others? It is as if the Grim Reaper himself has sent a greeting card saying: "Hi. Let's keep in touch."

But ask not for whom the bell tolls and look on the bright side of life. Because that is certainly the can-do spirit at the annual gathering of the AARP tribe, as 25,000 on-the-go, mature Americans assembled this weekend at the Anaheim Convention Center for Life@50+.

Who comes to these things? "It's like your class reunion, without the angst and competition," says Nancy Thompson, publicist for AARP, which was previously known as the American Association of Retired Persons but now prefers the sportier AARP.

"It's like a tech convention meets a health and fitness expo meets a travel show -- all under one roof." Thompson explains that the convention, in its fifth year, moves from city to city, "so it's a destination vacation, too." At Disneyland, this year, no less. Can't get any younger than that. Many attendees are from groups of lady friends who call themselves things such as "The Yes Dears" and "Girls in Groups," Thompson says.

The look this year: floral patterns, embroidered sweaters, sensible shoes.

Inside the cavernous hall, we spy immediately the bars, and think: good for them . Along with the virgin bloody marys, the bartender has got a sign reading: "Valid Identification Is Required If You Look Younger than 30." No problem!

The hall is arranged by theme. Travel (did you know you can now cruise the Mississippi River on a barge?). Finance (living wills, investments, insurance, annuities and, umm, regular wills, and hey! part-time jobs, too). Health. Computers. RVs. Etc.

Trend alert. We notice: many scooters (you want to watch your toes). The Celebrity X, the Jazzy 600, the Go-Go Elite and a new sporty model called the TravelScoot, "the world's lightest and most compact mobility travel scooter" on the market. The thing's inventor, Hardy Huber, boasts, "It's the only one that comes in a bag."

One of Huber's customers, sitting comfortably upon her TravelScoot, informs us, "I pushed him in here." And she points to her husband sitting a few feet away, in a wheelchair. He waves. And off they go, like a convoy.

Around the hall, many seminars run concurrently.

Marge Lovell of the Vascular Disease Foundation is discussing "pressure stockings" -- which resemble really intense pantyhose. "You always have to fight to get them on, am I right?" she asks the audience. The crowd nods. Then Lovell says something about how the scourge of PAD is woefully "underrepresented."

Omigod. Do we have PAD? What is PAD? It's sounds faintly rear-endy. Posterior Additive Dysfunction? Trend alert: Americans no longer call their diseases and infirmities by the full names. Initials, people. We grab a pamphlet -- there are pamphlets on everything and discover PAD is peripheral arterial disease.