Gee, Oprah. A Thousand Smackeroos. Thanks a Bunch.

"Okay? . . . Okay? Okay?" Oprah said.

Then she explained that they had one week to shoot their money giveaway and the footage will be used for an upcoming show.

"Are you up for the challenge? Okay! Bring out the thousand-dollar debit cards!"

Which, in fairness, just doesn't have the same ring as "Let's bring out the keys to your new Pontiac G6!"

She called it her "favorite giveaway ever."

We suspect audience members could not say the same.

We're guessing this cost Bank of America about $300,000 and change, a real bargain given that a 30-second spot on Oprah's syndicated show went for about $70,000 back in free-Pontiac days. Back in 2004, people figured the giveaway cost the carmaker about $7 million, though Oprah spent about half of that show yakking about Pontiac this, Pontiac that. Yesterday, she spent only about the last 10 minutes on the debit cards.

The rest of the hour was consumed with feel-good pay-it-forward bits: adorable dog born without the use of his front legs who was rescued and taught how to walk on the other two; two immigrants who had hellish childhoods (she was sold into slavery), found each other on blind date, married, had kids and now donate profits from their business to help abused kids. Oprah even flew in from Australia the guy who started giving away free hugs at a mall in Sydney, an act that blossomed into the international Free Hugs campaign and turned him into the fastest-rising star on YouTube -- 4.5 million views and counting. Stranger-hugger Juan Mann was taped yesterday morning giving free hugs to "Oprah" audience members as they stood outside in the Windy City cold waiting to get in, visions of free goodies dancing in their heads.