Winners? We'll See.

By Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts
Sunday, November 12, 2006

So you've been elected -- congratulations! One of your most loyal constituencies, the gossipocracy, has an important item (or two) on its agenda. Namely, what can you do for us?

GOOD FOR GOSSIP

 Martin O'Malley: We could argue forever whether he or Bob Ehrlich is cuter and who has the hotter wife, but Maryland's new gov-elect brings twice as many kids (four) to the governor's mansion, and some of them are older -- potential heartthrobs, potential trouble!

 Heath Shuler: The former Redskins starting quarterback returns to the city of his great disappointment, this time as a victorious Dem rep from N.C. How long till his constituents start calling for Gus Frerotte ?

 Claire McCaskill: Missouri's new Democratic senator has th ree teenage kids (see O'Malley, above) and four older stepkids!

 John Hall: A college dropout who founded the band Orleans and penned catchy '70s hits "Still the One" and "Dance With Me," this N.Y. Dem's House victory gives us a chance to show one of the most hilarious album covers of all time. He's the naked guy in front.

 John Yarmuth: The soon-to-be House Dem founded an alt-weekly newspaper with an excellent name: the Louisville Eccentric Observer. Previously ran other city magazines. There's gotta be something embarrassing in those back issues!

 Carol Shea-Porter: Before winning her House race, she was best known nationally for getting hustled out of a Bush event in New Hampshire after she took off her sweater near TV cameras to reveal a "Turn Your Back on Bush" T-shirt.

 Mike Arcuri: New rep gained a national profile after a front-page story in The Washington Post cited the N.Y. Dem's "piercing Italian eyes and runner's physique." This single dad has a girlfriend -- but no ring yet, ladies!

BAD FOR GOSSIP

 Michael Steele: Reaganesque charisma, an intriguing past (was almost a priest!), telegenic teen sons and an ex-brother-in-law named Mike Tyson . Maryland really let us down.

 Harold E. Ford: Perhaps gossip's biggest loss. The only thing better than a hot, young single-and-ready-to-mingle congressman would be a hot, young, single-and-ready-to-mingle senator. Now we have neither. Thanks for nothing, Tennessee.

 Andrea Zinga: Illinois's 17th District squandered the chance to elect the first former CNN anchorbabe to Congress, instead choosing their outgoing rep's former chief of staff. BOR-ING!

 Raj Bhakta: Pennsylvania 13th squandered the chance to elect the first reality-TV also-ran to Congress, even after he paraded an elephant and a mariachi band through the Rio Grande in a border-security stunt.

 Texas governor: By reelecting Rick Perry , Texans denied us both iconoclastic country-western singer Kinky Friedman and Scott McClellan 's feisty mom, Carole Keeton Strayhorn (who tried, but failed, to get her nickname, "Grandma," on the ballot).

CLOSE CALLS

 Jim Webb: We'll miss George Allen 's cowboy boots and say-anything impulses, but with Webb's combat boots and say-anything impulses -- plus a young wife about to give birth! -- we may have a net gain.

 Cynthia McKinney: The Atlanta representative was a gossip ally with her changing hairstyles and scraps with police. At least replacement Hank Johnson is a suavely handsome D.C. native; he and new Hawaii rep Mazie Hirono are Congress's first Buddhists!

 Paul Hodes: This new Dem rep from N.H. and his wife, Peggo , have recorded six albums as a children's folk duo called Peggosus . Wacky! Yet maybe too wholesome for us.

 Wendy Wilde: The Minnesota talk show host who lost her House race is stepmom to Alex Pareene , editor of snarky political blog Wonkette. A win might have sent the blog into overdrive -- or defanged it. We'll never know!

GOOD FOR GOSSIP

 Martin O'Malley: We could argue forever whether he or Bob Ehrlich is cuter and who has the hotter wife, but Maryland's new gov-elect brings twice as many kids (four) to the governor's mansion, and some of them are older -- potential heartthrobs, potential trouble!

 Heath Shuler: The former Redskins starting quarterback returns to the city of his great disappointment, this time as a victorious Dem rep from N.C. How long till his constituents start calling for Gus Frerotte ?

 Claire McCaskill: Missouri's new Democratic senator has th ree teenage kids (see O'Malley, above) and four older stepkids!

 John Hall: A college dropout who founded the band Orleans and penned catchy '70s hits "Still the One" and "Dance With Me," this N.Y. Dem's House victory gives us a chance to show one of the most hilarious album covers of all time. He's the naked guy in front.

 John Yarmuth: The soon-to-be House Dem founded an alt-weekly newspaper with an excellent name: the Louisville Eccentric Observer. Previously ran other city magazines. There's gotta be something embarrassing in those back issues!

 Carol Shea-Porter: Before winning her House race, she was best known nationally for getting hustled out of a Bush event in New Hampshire after she took off her sweater near TV cameras to reveal a "Turn Your Back on Bush" T-shirt.

 Mike Arcuri: New rep gained a national profile after a front-page story in The Washington Post cited the N.Y. Dem's "piercing Italian eyes and runner's physique." This single dad has a girlfriend -- but no ring yet, ladies!