Week 689: Busted Play

That your pets can't testify against you. (Bob Dalton)

That old age doesn't last forever. (Dave Kelsey, Fairfax)

I'm thankful that Uncle Billy finally croaked and I get a chance to sit at the big table. (Rich Carlson, Bowie)

I am thankful for this squash from our garden, which cost about $75 to grow. (Peter Metrinko, Chantilly)

That NFL halftimes are only 15 minutes, so we don't have to waste lots of time sitting around the dinner table on Thanksgiving Day. (Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, Pa.)

That Steve Wynn is not a museum curator or an eye surgeon. (David Kleinbard, Jersey City)

That Mark Foley was thoughtful enough to put his feelings in writing. (David Kleinbard)

That it turns out Ben Cardin ALSO loves puppies -- whew!! (Ron Jackson, Chevy Chase)

That I don't understand Portuguese, because that's what the nasty voices in my head speak. (Bird Waring, New York)

That there were no wild emu in 1621 New England. (Ben Aronin, Washington)

That I don't yet know which aisle of the supermarket has the Depends. (Patrick Mattimore, San Francisco)

That my class president elections didn't use Diebold machines. (Seth Brown, North Adams, Mass.)

I'm thankful for women who love short, cheap, egomaniacal guys. (David Kleinbard)

That it actually does get better than this. (Art Grinath)

And Last: I'm thankful that for one more week, I don't own that butt-ugly painting. (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

Next Week: Return of the Butt-Ugly Painting, or How Grate Thou Art