In Competitive Marketplace, Asian Egg Donors in Demand

After seven years of frustrating infertility, Manassas residents Marcel and Elaine, who is Chinese American, set out to find an Asian donor. It took Shady Grove, their clinic, a month to find one -- a Korean woman -- but Elaine and Marcel were second in line. The eggs went to another couple.

On a recent evening, Elaine and Marcel sat in their red-walled dining room cuddling the product of their search: their 5-month-old son, a smiley baby with big, brown eyes. Like most other donors and recipients contacted, they agreed to an interview provided that their last name not be used to keep the donor-recipient relationship anonymous.

Elaine, 38, an IT worker, and Marcel, a Hispanic construction manager, agreed that it was important that their donor be Asian. Marcel, 39, wanted their child to see something of himself in Elaine's face. Elaine wanted to push a stroller down the street without strangers asking if the baby was hers.

They turned to Creative Family Connections, the Chevy Chase law firm that had found them a surrogate -- Elaine had had a hysterectomy for medical reasons -- and performs specialized donor searches. Diane Hinson, the agency's founder, contacted an Asian donor she had recruited previously by posting fliers in Asian markets. Two months later, that donor came through with a willing Cambodian friend.

Elaine scrutinized a photo of the Cambodian woman. Her skin was darker than Elaine's, and her nose was pointier.

"She didn't look Chinese," Elaine said. "But it didn't matter at that point."

Nor does it now. Recently, the family went to a restaurant and ran into acquaintances, who cooed over the baby.

"The ladies there were like, 'He has the mom's nose,' not knowing he wasn't really mine, which is nice," Elaine said.

Although there has been little research on the topic, doctors, donor recruiters and donors cite cultural factors for the paucity of Asian donors.

Some say there is less awareness and more skepticism in ethnic communities about egg donation, which many countries ban or restrict. Clinics on the West Coast report less trouble finding Asian donors, perhaps because Asian communities there are more established and open to the idea.

Because infertility is seen as failure in some cultures, and because adoption is uncommon among Asians and Muslims, some observers speculate that despairing infertile couples opt for egg donation without telling anyone -- which also prevents them from asking relatives or friends to be donors. That secrecy makes a donor of the same ethnicity even more crucial, doctors say.

The Joyners, who live in Fredericksburg, hoped for a Chinese donor so their second child would resemble their 5-year-old daughter, Kayla. Their online ad drew about 10 responses, most of which Regina Joyner deemed "really strange." Some sent sexy photos. Others wanted more than the $3,500 the Joyners had offered. Many lived in other countries.