Partying Is Such Sweet Sorrow

"You never disagree with the big boss in person," she says. She agreed to fix the playlist, but then waited until after the deejay had burned CDs with the employees' selections so it would be too late to change the party music.

On the night of the party, everyone seemed to have a great time, Jen says, including the boss. The workers danced; the boss danced. And unlike so many office parties, people didn't just stop in, make their formal hellos, and move on. They closed the place down.

But come Monday, Jen was called into the boss's office again. "He was upset that we had too good of a time, and it wasn't professional for us to all behave like that."

Her lesson? "With certain personality types, you can't win." She has moved on to another agency. And although she has helped organize smaller office holiday parties, she has one thing to say about getting involved in a big shindig that the boss is micromanaging: never again.

IT'S NOT ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE'S FAULT when an office party goes bad.

Trish Navarro and her then-boyfriend were new college graduates when he landed a great job at a Washington think tank. When he was invited to the holiday party at his boss's Kalorama home and told the night would feature a white elephant gift exchange, Trish jumped at the chance to join in.

Off they trotted to Wal-Mart to find the perfect gag gift.

The night of the party, Trish noticed that everyone else was 10 to 15 years older than they were. Serious-looking. Dressed professionally. It was not the kind of party she was used to. "Every party we had been to before had been a kegger," she says.

When the white elephant exchange started, out came funky paperweights, ugly kitten calendars. Then it came time for their gift. One of the older analysts sat down to open it, and Trish could barely keep a straight face. In the package: A "rutting buck call" -- a small plastic tube that emits a noise that's supposed to attract does for use in hunting season. The box featured a cartoon of a deer with bulging, "I really want her bad" eyes.

Trish and her boyfriend burst into laughter. But no one else did, Trish recalls. A rutting buck call, it turned out, was not what the white elephant exchange was about.

Two months later, Trish's boyfriend was fired, she says. It wasn't a result of the party, though the rutting buck call probably didn't help. Her remaining consoling thought? It could have been worse -- they almost brought deer urine.

WHEN PEOPLE THINK OF OFFICE PARTIES GONE WRONG, the first thing that comes to mind are alcohol-induced debacles. But in the Washington area, holiday potlucks are also a rich source of complaint.