Do-It-Yourself Festivus

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Do-It-Yourself Festivus

Those who follow "Seinfeld" orthodoxy say four things are mandatory for Festivus.

1. A pole. Be sure it's aluminum and undecorated. As Frank Costanza said, "I find tinsel distracting."

The Wagner Cos. in Milwaukee (888-243-6914, http://www.festivuspoles.com) makes a six-foot floor model ($38) and a tabletop one ($30), with collapsible bases. Spokesman Tony Leto, who went to Queens College with Jerry Seinfeld, says last year 500 were sold. "We did this very much on a lark," he says. "We have a lot of fun with it."

2. Dinner (and comfort food at that). Load up on frozen meatballs, spaghetti and no-brand calorific snacks. One carb-lovers' buffet suggested by a Festivusbook.com (http://www.festivusbook.com) blogger included stuffing, boxed macaroni and cheese, instant mashed potatoes with canned gravy and white bread with margarine.

3. The airing of grievances. During dinner, get what's bugging you off your chest. On "Seinfeld," Frank listed the ways he'd been disappointed by family and friends. Each participant takes a turn. Krista Soroka of Tampa, who hosts an annual Festivus party, says her grievances have included the New York Yankees, bad customer service, poker on ESPN . . . yada yada yada. You get the idea.

4. Feats of strength. The head of the household (or host) tests his or her strength against another friend or family member's. Think Hula-Hoop contests and wrestling matches (thumb wrestling for the less physically inclined). Forget politeness: Festivus isn't over until the honcho goes down or gets pinned.

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