Long Stints in Iraq Fracture Families

"We take a lot of pictures," said Frohnhoefer, 28, of Queens, N.Y., as his wife, Audrey, quieted Haley with a pacifier. His biggest fear, he said, is "my kids not knowing me if something were to happen to me."

Sgt. 1st Class Jonathan Harper, 37, of Wichita, has two children and wanted more, but his wife gave him what he calls "the ultimatum": He had to be home for the pregnancy and beyond. The result: no more kids. "With me being gone, it's too much of a burden," he said.

For single soldiers, finding a spouse is difficult. Spec. Christian Brown, 25, of New Smyrna Beach, Fla., is afraid that when he leaves next month he will lose the girlfriend he met earlier this year. "She doesn't know if she can handle me being gone," he said, adding that he no longer plans to reenlist.

Other soldiers are arranging hasty marriages before they leave -- for added benefits and to provide for their spouses if they die -- a trend officers discourage because they say it makes soldiers more vulnerable to divorce.

Capt. Neil Johnson, 25, of Crystal River, Fla., said that he wed in November 2004 but that the uncertainty and fear surrounding his Army job led to his divorce in June. "If I had been in Florida, I'd probably still be married," he said. Army divorce rates surged after 2001 and remain elevated, although they fell somewhat last year. Johnson sees more divorces coming. "It seems normal," he said. "No one is surprised."

Anxiety, depression and psychological trauma from repeated exposure to combat add to the stress, affecting 15 percent to 20 percent of soldiers, said Maj. Christopher H. Warner, a 3rd Infantry Division psychiatrist. Those factors contribute to drinking, drug use and domestic violence among a small percentage of soldiers, officers said.

While some GIs grow more resilient to combat stress, others get worse, Warner said. One soldier attacked by gunfire and bombs repeatedly at Iraqi bridges found himself afraid to drive through underpasses at home. Some soldiers under treatment for combat stress return to war but are screened to see if they pose a risk, Warner said.

Still, the bulk of psychological problems for soldiers relate to home-front issues such as separation and infidelity, he said.

Many soldiers doubt civilians can understand the pressures they face, and they see a widening gap between Army life and what some call "the outside world." "There are times you feel like, 'Why is it us?' " Audrey said. Civilians, she said, "don't have a concept of what we go through."

A Changing Army

Sgt. 1st Class Kevin Bullock takes a break from loading up Bradley Fighting Vehicles and other equipment for shipping to Iraq. A divorced father of two, he had custody of his children all summer but was so busy he saw them for just two weeks. Next year he will not see them "unless luck is there and I get R and R in the summer."

Life for the roughly 3,800 soldiers of 1st Brigade is almost as hectic at Fort Stewart as it is in the desert, because their unit has only a year off the battlefield to rebuild lost manpower and equipment, train, and get ready for another deployment.

Escalating violence has kept troop levels in Iraq at more than 140,000, scuttling the Army's plans to shorten tours or give active-duty soldiers two years at home between combat duties. Given the size of today's active-duty Army compared with the high demand -- at least 17 out of 36 available combat brigades are in Iraq or Afghanistan -- the Army cannot keep all its units steadily filled with people and gear but instead "turns on the tap" for brigades first in line to deploy.