| Page 2 of 3 < > |
In a Word, Wordy
"Green swings it to the left side."
On almost every call, Gumbel tells us if it's the left or the right side, an inside carry or an outside carry, the near sideline or the far sideline. On almost every call. Uh, Bryant, IT'S TELEVISION. We can see left, right, inside, outside, short or deep. That's why the late Ray Scott, when Bart Starr pitched to Jim Taylor and Taylor ran 13 yards over left tackle for a score, would simply say, "Taylor -- touchdown."
Monday MorningA look back at the weekend and a look ahead at the coming week's action with a fresh new edge.  Norman Chad's Couch Slouch: Time for a rant against both the FedEx Cup and its most notable absentee -- Tiger Woods. The Chat: Michael Baisden, an author and the host of a nationally syndicated radio show, calls the outrage over dogfighting "hypocritical." The Starting Lineup: For the final edition of this feature, a look back at some of the funniest lines. THE QUOTE"I think it was out of ignorance — and by ignorance, I mean lack of knowledge." -- Notre Dame Coach Charlie Weis, on 19-year-old QB Jimmy Clausen's citation for transporting alcohol. In Indiana, it is against the law for a minor to drive a person of legal age to buy liquor. |
Sure, if you're doing play-by-play on Apollo 11, I guess you want to tell us, "And Neil Armstrong has walked out onto the moon!!!" but if it's second and eight and Rudi Johnson runs right, you don't have to say, "Rudi Johnson runs right." IT'S TELEVISION.
(By the way, who designed NFL Network's on-screen score graphic, Hermann Rorschach? I defy most viewers to glance at the TV and see who's winning the game -- you've got a better chance of reading an eye chart through a stained-glass window.)
When Gumbel calls rushing plays, a running back usually is "fighting for yardage" or "working his way back to the line of scrimmage." Again and again. And don't get me started on how Gumbel needlessly qualifies every call, saying stuff like " perhaps a loss of two," "he gets to maybe the 24-yard line," "McNair tackled at about the 36." Viewers understand it's not exactly the 36-yard line; why doesn't Gumbel?
(I'm also curious about another Gumbelism, or lack of it: When he hosts "Real Sports" on HBO, we often see him writing on a pad between segments. So if he's scribbling notes furiously during a taped telecast, wouldn't you expect Gumbel to be scribbling notes extra furiously every time he's on camera during NFL Network's live telecast?)
Anyway, I know this is less heady work than, say, interviewing the Saudi Arabian defense minister, but shouldn't the guy doing the job have the basic fundamentals down pat?
What was NFL Network thinking?
Besides, wasn't Greg Gumbel available?
Ask The Slouch
Q. Don't spectators realize how ridiculous they look waving towels at sporting events? (Jim O'Brien; Racine, Wis.)
A. Not half as ridiculous as I look waving a towel from my sofa.
Q. With the postseason coming up in fantasy football, should you sit all your players to avoid injuries if you have secured home-field advantage through the playoffs? (Bob Carroll; Streamwood, Ill.)
