It's Time To Talk

Cardillo then set out on his own to buy a long-term-care policy for his parents. He enlisted the help of his financial planner, Tom Curtis of Gaithersburg, who narrowed the options and prepared the paperwork for a policy. When his mother came to visit after his son was born in fall 2004, Cardillo told her they had an appointment with his financial planner.

Once they got to the meeting, her resistance disappeared. Curtis presented various options on long-term-care policies and gave some additional advice on how Cardillo's parents could improve their finances.

At the end of the meeting, Cardillo signed a check for the down payment on his parents' policy, and Julia Cardillo took the paperwork home to Florida for review. His parents then started paying the premiums on the policy, which covers them for the rest of their lives and provides nearly $37,000 a year for long-term-care expenses.

"I was really proud he brought it up," said Julia Cardillo, now 64. "It was an act of love."

Rising Health-Care Costs

The question Cardillo raised with his parents about long-term-care insurance points to a fundamental concern for families. Financial experts say that as the baby boom generation ages and health-care costs continue to rise, a greater portion of parents' medical expenses may fall on their children's shoulders.

Spending on long-term care, for example, is expected to almost double by 2020, to $207 billion from $123 billion in 2000, according to a report last year by the White House Conference on Aging. The report also said that more than one-third of Americans older than 65 will spend at least some time in a nursing home, with half of that group spending more than a year there.

But Medicare, the government program for the elderly and disabled, covers nursing-home expenses only in rare cases. And eligibility rules for Medicaid, the government health-care program for low-income people, have recently been tightened to make it tougher for middle- and upper-class people to divest their assets in order to qualify.

Only 6 percent of Americans buy long-term-care insurance -- many, such as Julia Cardillo, are deterred initially by the price.

But rising health-care costs, a population shift and regulatory changes may force more people to add long-term-care coverage and other financial protections to their portfolios, financial planners say, making that family conversation more important than ever.

"To ignore it and bury it, which happens more often than not, you're just looking for more problems down the line," said Arthur Stein, a financial planner in Bethesda.

Easing Into the Conversation

Opening a line of communication may be the biggest challenge. Financial experts recommend taking advantage of moments when parents bring up the subject of retirement on their own. Trying to open the conversation with, "Mom and Dad, you're getting older . . ." is usually a dead-end.

Families also need to consider timing. Depending on family dynamics, the holidays can either be a great time to talk or a terrible one. If possible, the subject should be brought up in person rather than over the phone, financial planners say.