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The Zeitgeist Checklist
6. 2008. Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) appeals to male voters with a guest spot on ESPN's Monday Night Football. Expect Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) to appear soon on Oxygen or Lifetime, and Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio) to show up on the SciFi Channel. Kucinich proclaims himself a serious candidate for the Democratic nomination, but refuses to explain why his campaign slogan remains "Just Here for the Bud Light."
"I LOVED IT!" -- MEL GIBSON Last week: -- Weeks on list: 1
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7. Middle East. Former president Jimmy Carter defends his bestselling new book, which blames most of the problems in the Middle East on Israel. He's now planning a sequel, which blames most of the problems in "Ishtar" on some assistant producer named Mordecai Rabinowitz. In other news, Ahmadinejad insists he's never worked as a presidential ghostwriter.
THE UNKINDEST CUT Last week: 8 Weeks on list: 2
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8. Health. A new study suggests that circumcision may reduce HIV transmission rates by as much as 50 percent, the first evidence that removing the foreskin can prevent sexually transmitted diseases. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation immediately funds the fledgling relief group Mohels Without Borders.
DID HILLARY WANT FASHION ADVICE? Last week: -- Weeks on list: 1
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9. Royalty. Revelations in British tabloids about the Clinton administration wiretapping Princess Diana turn out to be false. Right-wingers who seized on the breathless reports to attack the Clinton family swiftly and profusely apologize for fanning the flames of a bogus scandal. After which the Redskins win nine straight, Baghdad becomes a popular tourist destination, and Mel Gibson founds a Malibu chapter of B'nai B'rith.
BACKDOOR CUT AND RUN Last week: -- Weeks on list: 1
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10. Sports. NBA Commissioner David Stern ends his league's disastrous experiment with a lousy new synthetic ball, admitting his mistake and bringing back the old leather ball. His PR strategy is dismissed by Bush, who thinks Stern should stay the course with the lousy ball and force his successor to make the choice to ditch it, and by Ahmadinejad, who thinks Stern should insist that the new ball never happened.
* RESURFACES IN ZEITGEIST AFTER AN ABSENCE.
THE ZEITGEIST CHECKLIST ALSO APPEARS IN SLATE, THE ONLINE MAGAZINE AT WWW.SLATE.COM.
