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In the Holiday Gift Forecast? Brain Freeze.

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"Women don't want to have to tell what they want," Linni says. They want their lover to peer into their soul and respond with deep empathy. But you have to be clear and explicit, she has learned.

"Otherwise, you get a hockey puck."

Dale Proctor, 41, of Arlington, remembers the time six years ago when her boyfriend told her to pack a bag. OMG, she thought, he's taking me to the Caribbean for the weekend.

Not exactly. "It was a trip to King's Dominion. I was horrified. The traffic on 95 for four hours. We even stayed at that crappy hotel nearby."

What was he thinking?

"He wanted to go ride the new roller coaster."

She married him anyway.

When you start collecting tales of mind-crushing holiday gift insensitivity, it's striking how often the story ends with "I married him anyway" or "We've been married now for 37 years."

George Clark, 59, of D.C., will never live down the Christmas vacuum cleaner. "It still gets mentioned," he says, ruefully. But he defends himself. "She said she wanted one." She even knew which make and model.

The problem, he claims, was his wife made this announcement in December. If she had just waited until January, all would have been well. "It shouldn't have gone under the Christmas tree," he acknowledges.

Does this mean he's learned his lesson?

"Well, there was the laser printer," he says, wincing again.

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