Week 694: Hopelessly Ever After
"The struggle between parent and child [is] . . . in 'Goodnight Moon' only implicit. Indeed, there's no parent on the scene. . . . Time moves forward, and the little bunny doesn't stand a chance. Parent and child are, in this way, brought together, on tragic terms. You don't want to go to sleep. I don't want to die. But we both have to."
These heartwarming reflections on the world's sweetest bedtime story were offered up by Elizabeth Kolbert in the Dec. 4 New Yorker, and shared with us by Awfully Eager to Share Loser Peter Metrinko. We whisper: Hush, woman! This week: Offer up a gloomy interpretation of any ungloomy piece of writing. Seventy-five words max but you can write much shorter as well.
Winner receives the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. First runner-up gets the book "The Ultimate Guide to Prank University," a handy manual for such ingeniously droll practical jokes as Super Soaker Sink, Itchy Undies, and Filling Your Sleeping Roommate's Shoes With Foreign Liquids.
Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable Mentions (or whatever they're called that week) get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to email@example.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Tuesday, Jan. 2. Put "Week 694" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published Jan. 21. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's Honorable Mentions name is by Bruce Alter of Fairfax Station.
Report From Week 690
in which we asked you to transport a comic strip character to another time or place. Many people had Sarge and Beetle not asking and not telling as they ran off to Provincetown together.
4 The gang from "B.C." is moved to A.D., finally allowing the cartoonist to explore Christian religious themes. (Mike Fransella, Arlington)
3.Lucy is busted by state medical authorities for practicing psychiatry without a license after a patient tried to submit an insurance claim for 5 cents. (Jon Milstein, Falls Church)
2. the winner of the ceramic "smoking baby":"Zits": Jeremy Duncan and his mom, who never wondered why Jeremy's best friend, Hector, looks exactly like Dr. Duncan, discover that Hector is Jeremy's half brother. Apparently the good doctor, who is also Hector's mom's dentist, filled the wrong cavity. (Rob Kloak, Springfield)
And the Winner of the Inker
CATHY ON MARS
(Martin Bancroft, Rochester)
"Hagar the Horrible": Hagar has been time-traveling for years, planting old Norse relics in the Canadian Maritimes to be "discovered" by archaeologists. So anyone who tells you the Vikings reached America before Columbus has fallen for a wacky cartoon prank! (This message brought to you by the Sons of Italy organization) (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)