Not-So-Happy Returns

"We've had 50-plus years of very liberal return policies from many retailers," Butler said. "As more and more fraud happens, retailers have had to have policies that are much more exact and specific, especially for areas where the products are in high demand."

The result is that stores' procedures vary widely, often creating confusion and unrealistic expectations among shoppers that is exacerbated during the hectic days after Christmas.

"I think that retailers really need to understand that this is not just about volume" of merchandise returned, said Traci Entel, a principal at management consulting firm Katzenbach Partners. "It's a very stressful and emotional time for customers."

For many shoppers, there are complex machinations behind even the most straightforward returns. Shouldn't your husband realize by now that he has given you the same body butter gift set from Bath & Body Works three years in a row? Shouldn't your big sister have known that rather than a couple of self-help books and Shania Twain's Greatest Hits CD, what you really wanted was some cute sweatpants from Victoria's Secret? And did you really hurt your mother's feelings when you bought her a size 14 blouse and she needs a 10?

Underhill said the psychology behind returns runs deep. Bringing back a gift means someone misunderstood us. Acknowledging that can be difficult -- both for the giver and the recipient.

"Christmas is about buying the icons of our relationship to somebody else. We're often trying to buy gifts that tell something that we don't have the courage to tell them to their face: 'I love you, I'm proud of you, I support you,'" Underhill said. "The return is the emotional failure of somebody to have truly thought through what somebody's needs are."

Shoppers walk into stores in the days after Christmas carrying enormous amounts of baggage. They also often bring a sense of entitlement -- sometimes rightfully so, sometimes not -- cultivated over the generations since Field popularized his philosophy of customer service.

Consumers increasingly have the upper hand in their relationships with retailers, Underhill said. Shoppers are savvier than ever before, researching price and product quality on the Internet before setting foot in a store. They are used to retailers competing for their money and they eschew brand loyalty in their quest for the best values.

"There are many shoppers that feel totally empowered," Underhill said. "They want the lowest price with the best possible service. They recognize that they have so many places to shop and that the merchant is desperate for their business. They feel that they have some leverage."

Dissatisfied consumers frequently take out their anger on retailers. In a survey by Katzenbach Partners, 62 percent of shoppers said they would not go back to a store where they received poor customer service -- a term that is synonymous with returns during the holiday season, Entel said.

Harold Li, 41, of Frederick is in that group. He recently mailed back a prepaid cellphone he bought from a small online retailer only to be told there was no record of his return, he said. The company has refused to reimburse him or replace the phone. Li said he is so livid that he is considering filing complaints with several consumer protection agencies.

"I never encountered any merchant like that," he said. "I don't remember anything as bad as this."

Entel recommended that retailers look at returns not as a burden but as an opportunity to fix what went wrong. She said it often doesn't take much effort.

"Customers don't expect to be wowed during a return process," Entel said. "They expect to get the basics right."