Week 695: Dead Letters

The news hit hard,
like a punch from a fist.
Mickey Spillane is
gonna be missed.

As we kick the door closed on the year 2006, it's time once again to do the same to those who have kicked their last. This week: Write a poem about someone who died in 2006. As always, poems of more than four lines must be worth the extra space they're printed on.

Winner receives the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. First runner-up gets a pocket-size book of "Zig Ziglar's Favorite Quotations," a collection of motivational sayings that almost rise to the level of platitude, such as "We don't pay the price for success, we pay the price for failure." Ooh.

Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable Mentions (or whatever they're called that week) get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Jan. 8. Put "Week 695" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published Jan. 28. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's prize was donated by Sushant Sagar of Centreville. The revised title for next week's contest was sent by Martin Bancroft.

Report From Week 691

in which we sought clever and funny clues for all 76 words in an actual crossword that ran in The Post Nov. 18, created by bigshot puzzle author Paula Gamache, who'd already included some funny puns in her originals. The Empress received the most entries she'd ever gotten in a single contest -- more than 6,000 (many people decided to try all 76 words) -- but nobody came up with a very good clue for "roc" or "nail." So we turned to Paula herself. She wins a magnet.

(We've included the winner and runners-up below, rather than show them out of order.)

(Copyright 2006 by Paula Gamache)

ACROSS

1. ANGST: Director Lee's emotion upon seeing the box office returns for "Hulk" (Benjamin Cooper, Springfield)

6. ASIA: Response to "Where can I find some good Chinese food?" (Richard Wong, Derwood)

10. BBLS: Bacon, braunschweiger, lettuce and sardine sandwich (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park)

14. First runner-up, winner of the dog desserts: TAUPE: It is to "male" as "infield fly rule" is to "female" (Elwood Fitzner, Valley City, N.D.)

15. REDS: First the left wing, now the right wing (Fred Dawson, Beltsville)