On the Web, 'Dear Diary' Becomes 'Dear World'

Teenagers also use online diaries to spread information quickly. "You can get to a lot of people all at once," said Colton O'Connor, 19, a recent graduate of the Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology in Fairfax County who is now a freshman at the College of William and Mary. "Like, a phone call only gets to one person at a time."

It's impossible to determine how many young people keep online diaries, but companies that operate major blogging and networking sites -- such as Xanga, LiveJournal and MySpace -- say the numbers of teenagers and young adults that use them are in the millions.

Young people point out that posting private thoughts in a public forum has become more acceptable with the rise of cultural phenomena such as PostSecret, a popular Web site that displays postcards emblazoned with senders' secrets. Xanga, LiveJournal and MySpace all give users the option of making their blogs accessible only to approved readers. Some also keep "secret blogs" on which they enter intimate thoughts that, in the old-school tradition, are meant for the writer's eyes only. But many young people prefer to lay it all out for the world to read.

Rochelle Gurstein, author of "The Repeal of Reticence," a book about the erosion of privacy in the United States, said the blogs seem to reflect an "unprecedented change" in teenagers' sense of modesty.

"Not long ago, young people would die at the prospect of their mother or their friend discovering" their diaries, she said. "The teenage girl that used to be the most vulnerable, protected member of society is now unsupervised, left to her own devices, with access to the Internet, and what does she do? Broadcasts to the whole world to see her in her most vulnerable moments."

But O'Connor, who has kept a LiveJournal diary for more than two years, said blogs actually protect vulnerabilities by allowing for a more polished presentation of self. "You can take three minutes to lay your thoughts out and think about it before you send them," he said.

His older brother noted that blogs let writers interact while avoiding the emotional risks of one-on-one conversation.

"This generation is worse at talking face to face," said Jeremy O'Connor, 23, a recent Virginia Tech graduate who has kept a LiveJournal diary for five years. "Everything everyone's writing online, they want it there because they want it to be read by someone. . . . Having someone read your secret feels better."

He added that blogs allow people to communicate obliquely, "writing, 'I like so and so,' and knowing it's going to get back to that person without having to talk to that person."

Many young bloggers say they don't think people other than friends are reading their journals. Some contend that the Internet is a safer place for their inner thoughts than a book that can be found by parents or siblings.

Parents are less sure.

The O'Connors' mother, Karen, said she was appalled when her four children started keeping online journals. "I just thought it was terrible, horrible. I just couldn't imagine why you would put your feelings and personal comments on something that just went out there."

She now sees good and bad in it. "You probably know your friends better because they put everything on LiveJournal. But you're missing all the excitement and fun" of face-to-face interactions.

Gerald Goodman, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California at Los Angeles, said young bloggers are following a deep human impulse. "This is practically genetic, this need to be known by another human," he said. But Goodman said he worries there is a downside for those who rely too much on such communication.

"It's not real -- it's like phone sex or something; it's partial," he said. "As they grow up, what happens to how they manage their vulnerability and their disclosure and their risk-taking in human relations? Is this going to do something that we can't predict yet about the way they're willing to take risks to get close?"

Butler acknowledged that relating online provides a social buffer. But that is part of the appeal. "Saying, like, 'Hey, do you like me?' " she said. "In person it would be the most awkward thing in the world."

Breaking up online is also all right, she said.

Then she reconsidered: "Breaking up online is so sixth grade. Like, by eighth grade you should at least call them."