Hollywood Babble-On

What Bret entirely forgets in this jabber he calls a biography is that each and every one of these people was (and sometimes still is) a sentient human being. When Gable fathered Loretta Young's baby out of wedlock and Young "adopted" her own baby -- yes, that story is true -- the baby grew up and had to deal with the lifetime of lies that had been told her. George Raft was human whether he was a "Gillette blade" or not. George Brent was human. Crawford's four adopted children -- all human. They deserve some dignity and thought. But thinking is not where it's at for this writer.

So we have interminable film synopses and the list of Joan's husbands (Douglas Fairbanks Jr., Franchot Tone, Philip Terry and Alfred Steele, the Pepsi-Cola magnate). Steele is said to have beaten her: In Paris, she wore "sunglasses to conceal her black eyes -- a clear indication, according to her masochistic views on romance, that Alfred truly loved her." And where's the quote or source to back up Joan's masochistic views on romance?

Bret also vilifies Christina Crawford, who wrote "Mommie Dearest." He vociferously defends the mommy in question: "Joan is known to have spanked her children or locked them in the closet for answering back -- a common practice of the day." What day was that, I wonder?

Goo. This book is goo. Ultimately, it's an enormous insult to gays, assuming, as it does, that mindless cattiness and restroom innuendo are the accepted small talk of homosexuals everywhere. I felt I needed a long hot shower after I finished this book. Probably the way the fly did, when he struggled out of that pink lobster and avocado jungle, long ago.

Sunday in Book World

· Samantha Powers ponders the future of the U.N.

· Howard Gardner analyzes Peter Kramer's "Freud."

· Roddy Doyle revisits "the woman who walked into doors."

· Vikram Chandra breaks the rules in "Sacred Games."

· And Abraham Lincoln continues to fascinate.