The Zeitgeist Checklist By Christopher Beam
EXIT STRATEGIES Last week: 2 Weeks on list: 28
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1. Iraq. A bootleg video of Saddam Hussein's execution spreads across the Internet, condemning the former dictator to the only punishment worse than death: eternal life via YouTube mash-ups. Meanwhile, as the U.S. body count surpasses 3,000, Iraqi President Nouri al-Maliki tells the Wall Street Journal that he wishes he "could be done with" his job ASAP. Finally, something he and Moqtada al-Sadr can agree on.
BIPARTISANSHIP, SHMIPARTISANSHIP Last week: 4 Weeks on list: 2
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2. Democrats. The new congressional majority announces a plan for its first 100 hours, starting with turning off Republican microphones. The plan also focuses on national security, the minimum wage and an ethics overhaul that would ban the use of corporate jets. Republicans accuse the new party in power of violating the promised "spirit of bipartisanship," because the ban would prevent most GOP lawmakers from getting to work.
BLOWING HIS CHANCES? Last week: 7 Weeks on list: 9
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3. 2008. Mitt Romney quits "testing the waters" and declares his presidential candidacy. Now he must fend off accusations from conservatives that he was once governor of Massachusetts. In the other camp, Barack Obama's cocaine use, which he discussed in a memoir 11 years ago, becomes an issue. Romney, informed by aides that candor is "in," admits that he once drank Coke.
DEFILE AT WILL Last week: -- Weeks on list: 1
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4. Religion. FBI agents report having witnessed Guantanamo Bay interrogators squatting over a Koran to offend a Muslim captive. Meanwhile, Muslim Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.) mollifies critics by taking his oath of office on a Koran that belonged to Thomas Jefferson. Rep. Virgil Goode (R-Va.), who expressed fears that this act would lead to "many more Muslims" being elected, claims that Jefferson was the least God-fearing Founding Father -- a real patriot would have dug up Alexander Hamilton's copy.
RESHUFFLING THE DECK Last week: -- Weeks on list: 1
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5. Diplomacy. Intelligence czar and former Iraq envoy John Negroponte resigns to become deputy secretary of state, where he'll have more say in foreign policy. A prelude to unveiling President Bush's "new" Iraq plan: Bring in the guy who helped make the first plan such a success. His replacement, former National Security Agency director John M. McConnell, doesn't need to be briefed -- he was listening in.
GOOD SHIP RUDY SPRINGS A LEAK Last week: -- Weeks on list: 1
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