Week 697: We Beg You to Differ

"The Other 603 Commandments": Moses sits up there on Mount Sinai taking notes about such topics as pigeon sacrifice and whether bats are kosher. Except for the slightly racy Commandments 82 through 105, which cover forbidden sexual relations, the tale is a bit short of epic. (Andrew Schneider, Fairfax)

"Amadeus II": Mozart's Requiem is ready for posthumous production when the scheming impresario Snydieri closes Vienna's last concert hall. (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

"The Great Escape 2": Capt. Hilts, in another daring escape attempt, makes it out of the camp but wrecks his motorcycle trying to avoid a governess and her seven children. (Tom Galgano, Bowie)

"A Brief History of Time 2: Downforce": When Stephen Hawking is dropped off a 20-story building as the result of a David Letterman prank gone horribly wrong, his valuable brain is transplanted into the nearest available body, which happens to be that of the guest immediately before Hawking, Arnold Schwarzenegger. (Andrew Malone, Washington)

"War of the Worlds II": Back on Mars, the invaders smack their three-fingered hands against what passes for their foreheads, brew up a batch of penicillin and prepare to try again. (Andrew Schneider)

"Rocky 13": Rocky Balboa, now 92, winds up in the same nursing home as his nemesis Clubber Lang, 87. The rivalry is reignited after their wheelchairs bump on the way to bingo. They throw some Jell-O at each other, then take a nap. (Michael Levy, Silver Spring)

"Seventy Brides for Seven Brothers": The brothers relocate to the Utah mountains. (Beverley Sharp, Washington)

"It's a Wonderful Life for You, Maybe": An angel shows an elderly George Bailey how much happier everyone he knows would be without the burden of taking care of him. (Beth Baniszewski)

"You've Got Spam": Kathleen breaks up with Joe and fears she'll never love again, until she starts a new e-mail relationship with a Nigerian banker. (Brendan Beary)

"Pay Per Moon": Addie gives up the grift and settles down to an honest life as a stripper. (Steve Langer, Chevy Chase)

"Rear Window 2": Jeff is hired to apply his knowledge of photography, lenses and lighting to develop the first colonoscopy camera. (Phil Frankenfeld, Washington)

"Old Yeller II: Night of the Living Dog": Rabies and a bullet to the head can't keep down a vengeful undead hound. (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf; Andrew Hoenig, Rockville)