In Troubling Times, Conservatives Head Out to Sea

These are obviously not the best of times for Republicans. The House is gone. Ditto the Senate. President Bush's approval ratings are around 37 percent, and ratings on his conduct of the war are closer to 30 percent. The war itself grinds on. What's a beleaguered conservative to do?

It's time to regroup! And what better way to do that than to join the folks at the Weekly Standard, one of the last great bastions of war boosters, on a fun-filled week-long cruise in Alaska?

Yes, it's a week of sightseeing, partying and deep reflection with publisher Terry Eastland and top editors William Kristol and Fred Barnes aboard Holland America Line's ms Oosterdam this June. Other featured speakers include former Bush speechwriter Michael Gerson and military historian Fred Kagan.

One of the true highlights is just the chance to be "traveling with like-minded conservatives," the promo material says, and not having to listen to we-told-you-so rants from the liberals and leftists that you might find on other cruises.

There'll be a morning "Kaffee Klatsch" most days and panel discussions galore explaining how democracy eventually will sweep through the Middle East like wildfire, how to balance the budget and various other issues.

The ship's show lounge "features Las Vegas-style productions," and while the invitation doesn't mention it, the luxury ship does indeed have a fine casino.

There will probably be cakewalk contests on the Lido deck each night, and spectacular Alaska each day, including a close view of the Hubbard Glacier, which, contrary to what radical-environmentalist, global-warming types would say, is "marching to the beat of a different drum . . . advancing while the rest of Alaska's ice rivers are receding rapidly."

There's a day in Ketchikan "in the heart of the Tongass National Forest." Maybe there'll be time for an optional anti-earmark pilgrimage to the proposed site of the famed "Bridge to Nowhere"? Weather permitting, there might even be a hunt for weapons of mass destruction. (Okay, okay, that was cheap.)

All this in your "penthouse suite w/verandah" for only $6,300 per person, double occupancy, or $4,500 per person in the deluxe suite. Single rooms in the cheapo category are only $2,600.

Do not miss the "photo/autograph session," where you can have your picture taken with Kristol, Barnes and Eastland. "Photos will be available for purchase," we're told. Priceless!

But hurry! There are only two penthouse suites available.

Eyes on the White House, Mouth Shut

It was long a given that the key sign of whether Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) was running for reelection was whether he was dieting. The key sign of whether Sen. Joe Biden (D-Del.) is serious about running for president is whether he can just shut up.