Week 699: Our Greatest Hit

It's Byron Nelson's final round.
He's lying low and starts to wonder
Whether, since he's in the ground,
He has a chance to shoot six under.
(Chris Doyle)

Icon to thousands of fitness crazies,
Jack Palance is one-handedly pushing up daisies.
(Kevin D'Eustachio, Linwood, N.J.)

Denis Payton passed through Heaven's door,
And left behind the Dave Clark Four.
(Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station)

Augusto Pinochet:
If you pronounced it Pino-shay,
Your passing caused us no dismay.
If you pronounced it Pino-chette,
Your passing caused us no regret.
(Bob Dalton)

Wilson Pickett and Kirby Puckett:
A singer, a slugger,
A Pickett, a Puckett,
Were both Hall of Famers
Who just kicked the bucket.
  (Sue Lin Chong, Baltimore)

Arnie Sachs, photojournalist:
Clinton clasping Kennedy
He captured with his Konica.
More famous, surely, he would be
Had it been Bill 'n' Monica.
(Larry Yungk, Arlington)

Lawrence (Ramrod) Shurtliff, Grateful Dead roadie:
What a long strange trip
'Board the Stygian ferry,
Now you're drivin' that train
And truckin' with Jerry.
(Mary Ann Henningsen, Hayward, Calif.)

A man of letters was Aaron Spelling:
T and A are what he was selling.
(Jack Held, Fairfax)

Botha, Stroessner, Pinochet,
And don't forget Hussein:
A bunch of despots passed away
Who caused their countries pain.
To advocate democracy,
We cheer these tyrants' ends,
Forgetting that, politically,
They used to be our friends.
(Brendan Beary)

John Kenneth Galbraith & Milton Friedman:
Wall Street reeled, it cried collusion;
"How could they reach the same conclusion?"
(Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Moose (Eddie on "Frasier"):
A humble pro, he shunned all glamour.
Yet on his show he upstaged Grammer.
(Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

Glenn Ford, John M. Ford, Gerald Ford, Wilson Pickett:
We know that Glenn and John and Jerry
By their partners were adored,
But only Wilson Pickett's Sally
Got to ride the hottest Ford.
(Kevin Dopart)

You lied, took bribes, diddled the help
And squandered your authority
I can't say that I'm sad you're gone,
Republican majority.
(Mark Eckenwiler)

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Next Week: Send Us the Bill, or Act-Finding Mission