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All Bets Are On

Sports books like this one in Carson City, Nev., are doing big business for the Super Bowl, considered the most bet-upon sporting event.
Sports books like this one in Carson City, Nev., are doing big business for the Super Bowl, considered the most bet-upon sporting event. (By Brad Horn -- The Nevada Appeal Via Associated Press)
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"Sounds good."

Zip up.

"Sunday, baby."

* * *

First, let's observe that Guys are not Gentlemen. They are Guys. The definition of a guy is a male of the species who does guy things. Note: Guydom is not inherent. It is achieved.

Defining by difference:

Gentlemen know how to tie a four-in-hand, mix a martini, order off the menu, lace the wingtips so there are no crossover threads. They know a good New York hotel and the right single-barrel bourbon. They have an understanding that romance is not what it used to be, and are on first-name basis with a reputable tailor.

Guys parallel-park on the first shot.

There are rich guys, big guys, gay guys and regular guys. You can have girl guys, too, but only if they can sit on a bar stool and say stuff like "The Bears? The Bears ? They haven't had a team since Sweetness left town."

Sports betting (or at least the talk thereof) unites all, and the Super Bowl is the center of the knot. Here you get separation from men who are not guys. Hoswarth Peabody IX is not going to be telling you that he took da Bears at minus 3 in Chicago in the playoffs, but respects it if you took the 'Aints, what with Brees and Bush and that kid Colston.

Let's go to the videotape:

"Sports betting seems directly tied to their self-esteem, to their manhood, their macho," writes J.R. Miller, speaking of guys, in "How Professional Gamblers Beat the Pro Football Pointspread."


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