Love Means NOT Spending

Fess up, did you spend a crazy amount of money for Valentine's Day?

Let's chat today at Noon ET about this and how money matters to your relationship. (If you can't make the chat, submit your questions early or read the transcript later).

As for me, I've been married almost 16 years and didn't buy a card, balloon or box of chocolate for my sweetheart. All I did was wake up and told my honey I loved him. He did the same, and then I fixed breakfast for the family.

I'm a romantic, but in my book, love doesn't mean you have to show it by buying something. And I'm not the only one shunning spending. For a wonderful story about one family's annual non-commercial celebration of Valentine's Day, read "True Love Is Homemade," by Washington Post writer Darragh Johnson (Feb. 14).

Valentine's Day has become a massive opportunity for retailers to rake in the big bucks. Total 2007 Valentine's Day spending was expected to reach $16.9 billion, according to the National Retail Federation's 2007 Valentine's Day Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey. The average consumer had planned to spend about $120 for Valentine's Day, up from $100 last year.

And as usual, men were going to be the big spenders -- dropping about $156, nearly double the $85 that the average female will spend. Hey, what about some equal spending ladies?

Now that Valentine's Day is over, perhaps this is a good time to check your financial relationship with your spouse. In Sunday's column, I wrote about couples and their finances. Among many couples, money is an issue not often discussed, yet it remains one of the leading causes of marital strife.

The column struck a cord with many readers because my inbox filled up quickly with notes from both men and women struggling to handle their money with their honey. Here's what some of them had to say:

"I e-mailed [my husband] this article in hopes that he takes heed. We spend [recklessly]. I am taking heed to the tips you are giving your [four New Year's challengers, too]... It's a matter of being focused and disciplined with your finances," wrote Cozzie King of Springfield, Va.

Another reader wrote about how a relationship mixed with money went wrong:

Bob Snyder from western New York said he had a student with a terrible driving record. "To save [money] on his insurance, the student put his Corvette in his girlfriend's name. When they broke up, the girlfriend got the car. What a horror story!"

NEVER, and I mean never, co-sign for someone you are not married to. And yes, this advice also applies to parents. Don't co-sign for your kid. Read more in this column: "Sweetheart Deals That Go Sour; Losing One's Heart Can Be Dangerous to Financial Health," (Oct. 11, 1998).

Also read "A Balanced Joint Venture," from last Sunday, for six tips that will help your relationship and personal finances.

For more of my thoughts, catch me next Wednesday on CBS's The Early Show. I'll be talking about my book, "Your Money and Your Man," which was just released in paperback. Barring any breaking news, I'm scheduled to appear between 8 and 8:30 a.m.

And for additional stories about the commercialization of V-Day, read these articles:

* "Nine Lives," by Ellen McCarthy (Feb. 9).

* "Chocolate 911: Go for the Good Stuff," by Nick Malgieri (Feb. 7).

* "To Me, With Love," by Ylan Q. Mui (Feb. 13).

Security Freeze Laws

Last week, my column on Security Freezes (Feb. 8) received a large response from Washington, D.C. residents who wanted to know more about their options and D.C. Security Freeze legislation, so last Sunday I provided some additional information that you can read here.

The Consumers Union also provides information on states which have introduced security freeze bills and states with existing laws including the District.

If you can't find your state on these lists, the Consumers Union is encouraging people to send a letter to your state or district representative requesting this legislation.

Also, read my column today, "Better to Stop Thieves Cold," about why I favor this method than buying a credit monitoring service.

Tax Time

Don't miss our annual Tax Time Special Report, a resource guide to help you prepare and file your tax returns, along with the latest headlines on the subject.

If you are going to be hit by the Alternative Minimum Tax this year, then you should also read "Bush's Stealth Tax Increase" (Feb. 7) by Washington Post columnist Ruth Marcus.

It's all about how balancing the federal budget depends a great deal on the AMT, which was created to ensure that the wealthiest pay at least some taxes.

As Marcus reports, figures compiled by the Urban Institute-Brookings Institution Tax Policy Center demonstrate how wide reaching the AMT will be. If the AMT is not fixed and the Bush tax cuts are extended, 89 percent of married families with two or more children and incomes between $75,000 and $100,000 will be hit with this tax by 2010 -- compared with less than one percent in 2006.

You are welcome to e-mail comments and questions singletarym@washpost.com. Please include your name and hometown; your comments may be used in a future column or newsletter unless otherwise requested.