Week 702: Unreal Facts
A Big Gulp cup can hold 27 European swallows.
Pillow suffocation is a legal execution method in seven states.
Richard Nixon held his last breath for 12 years 301 days.
Heavily Ink-Stained Loser Kevin Dopart, who submits several dozen entries to us each week, all sorted into tidy little categories, suggested this twist on the "Real Facts" included under the caps of Snapple bottles (e.g., "a bee has five eyes"): Come up with a comically false . . . well, let's call it a fictoid, as in Kevin's examples above. They don't have to fit on a bottle cap, but don't write a whole story.
Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. First runner-up receives the amazing belt pictured below, sent to us from New Delhi by Truly Cosmopolitan Loser Robin Diallo. The writing on the belt seems to be in secret code, but if you look long enough, you realize that someone -- the proverbial chimp at a typewriter, perhaps? -- was attempting to write the titles of various Rolling Stones songs. Hence "Eave You Seen Tour Nd Ther!Bady! Standing in the Sfadgwi."
Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable Mentions (or whatever they're called that week) get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Feb. 26. Put "Week 702" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published March 18. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's Honorable Mentions name is by Bonnie Hughes of Reston. The revised title for next week's contest is by Tom Witte.
Report From Week 698
|The prize for Week 702.(Julia Ewan - The Washington Post)|
5. Applicant: Would I be working within 90 feet of any school? (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)
4. Applicant: Can I use you as a reference? (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis)
3. Interviewer: If my next question is "Do you plan to steal from this company?" would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this one? (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)
2. the winner of the pink plastic pig crumb-vac that we thought was a fan: Applicant: These rules against sexual harassment in the office -- do they also apply to the parking lot? (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)
And the Winner of the Inker
Applicant: Say, those girls in the photos on your desk, are they seeing anyone, well not the fat one, but those other two? (Russell Beland, Springfield)